Cheerful Girl

Sanke has always harbored a deep affection for his schoolmate, whom he fondly calls 'the cheerful girl.' Finally, he resolves to approach her; however, as he does so, his eagerness to get to know her and his curiosity will lead him into unforeseen circumstances...

Index

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 7

As I've already mentioned, after the incident on the nameless street, time passed. Or rather, it continued to pass: days flowed by like the changing seasons. My life followed its normal course, the one I would have expected. The typical school life of a seventeen-year-old boy. Classes, homework, friends, and the inability to get closer to the cheerful girl. Amidst all this, like an oasis of excitement and novelty, there was the athletics tournament and a vacation I spent at home, except for a weekend in a neighboring town. Always far from the cheerful girl.

With each passing day, my hopes faded. I began to think that trying to win her over was a futile endeavor.

Not that I had tried anyway.

It may seem like I'm talking about a very long period; in reality, to be more precise, it was three months.

Almost three exact months.

And what I'm going to tell you began with a children's game.

Some first-year students played a prank on a classmate, or settled a bet... I never found out, and it doesn't really matter, anyway. Two boys, probably thinking themselves as rebels, were forcibly dragging their classmate down a corridor on the ground floor. A third boy followed them at a short distance, perhaps supervising the operation's progress. Meanwhile, the third-year Physical Education class was coming to an end. I had changed into regular clothes and left the boys' locker room earlier than the rest. That's why I saw the boys. The girls from my class were still inside the locker room.

I was loitering in the hallway when the boys crossed my path heading towards one end of the ground floor, where they turned right towards the girls' locker room.

Perhaps it was because of memories of what Kazu, Emell, and Pier had put me through not long ago, and out of empathy for the boy who, perhaps undeservedly, was being dragged to be thrown into the girls as if he were being thrown to the wolves; perhaps it was simply the desire to do good, which should never require excuses, that I ran toward the boys.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I shouted at them, like a police officer ordering a criminal to stop.

They ignored me and sped up toward the locker room. However, the third delinquent, after hesitating for a second between entering or not, chose to retreat cowardly. I continued following the others and entered after them in a last desperate attempt to prevent them from entering, or at least to free the prisoner.

"A student from the school entered the ladies' locker room unexpectedly while the third-year female students were changing clothes," the principal would later read in his office. In the cold, dark words that roam the winding corridors of a courtroom, that's what happened. But that wasn't all.

The girls jumped to their feet in whatever they had on and fled to the back of the locker room, screaming as they stampeded. Most of them were only half-dressed or covered by nothing more than a towel; jumping and screaming in fear, they tried to cover their bodies with their arms and hands. As for the miscreants, they shoved their classmate further into the locker room and, without taking advantage of the situation to look at the ladies, rushed out of there at full speed. I made a futile attempt to catch one of them, who ultimately managed to slip through my grasp. Just as I struggled with him in the middle of the room, I stepped on a piece of clothing on the floor, slipped, and fell.

I fell... on top of Aira.

The commotion ceased in an instant. A deathly silence now filled the room. A tense circle of fixed gazes surrounded us.

Aira and I were lucky that I hadn't crushed her with my body since I had landed with my arms extended by a reflex act. She wasn't hurt, and consequently, she didn't have to murder me. But I had no reason to celebrate. Aira was beneath me, trapped between my arms, with my face almost against her chest, which, fortunately for her, had managed to secure her bra.

I reacted quickly, although one is never fast enough in a situation like that. I lifted my palms from the floor and moved aside, releasing Aira. She wasn't happy.

Blushing or, to be more precise, redder than a tomato, shocked, she slid backward, sitting in front of me; with one arm, she covered her chest, and with the other, she adjusted her skirt, which had ridden up. With her left foot, she delivered a swift kick right between my eyes.

"Pervert!" she yelled.

I fell backward, ending up on my back. I reacted promptly, turning my body to get up and get out of there. The girls started screaming and panicking again. And I, still dazed from Aira's kick, hadn't gotten up yet, half-blinded by the blow. I saw an object lying under the bench beside which I lay.

It was a silver medallion that had escaped from a poorly closed backpack, likely dropped to the floor during the incident. It had... a strange symbol, one I didn't know but recognized.

How could I not recognize it, given that I had seen it on the girl who had murdered the nameless man?

After being hit, due to the screams and commotion in the locker room, the Physical Education teacher arrived at the scene. I found her standing in front of me as I got up. Her extraordinarily serious expression signaled that it was not a good day for her, and perhaps that a severe reprimand awaited me as well. Without uttering a word and without looking back, I quietly left, head down.

From what I later learned and how things unfolded, the teacher drafted a report that reached the principal's office with impressive speed.

When I left the girls' locker room, the first thing I did was head to the nearest restroom—men's, of course—to examine my face in the mirror. While I was at it, the lunchtime bell rang, signaling the lunch hour.

My forehead was red from Aira's blow. She had kicked me between the eyebrows. "If she had hit me a bit lower, she might have broken my nose," I thought.

I wet my face and massaged the reddened and slightly swollen area with my fingertips. It no longer hurt as much, but the evidence of the attack was undeniable.

I locked myself in the farthest stall, lowered the toilet lid, which was up, and sat down for a moment. I let out a long sigh, looking up. First, exhausting myself in Physical Education class, then getting hit in the face... It was definitely not the best day for me. And to make matters worse, there was the matter of the medallion... There was no doubt; it was the same one I had seen on that fateful night...

I thought I had overcome the memories of that event.

The sudden entrance of noisy students into the restroom interrupted my incipient contemplation. Without wasting time, I got up and left. Just before the bathroom door closed behind me, I ran into my friends, who were about to enter.

"Sanke! What happened to you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Look at your forehead... Who hit you?"

I didn't want to talk about the blow to avoid having to explain how and why I had received it.

"No one hit me."

"What, then?" Pier asked.

Kazu flung the bathroom door wide open and, putting one foot inside, asked in a harsh tone, "Let’s see! Who hit my friend?!"

Those who heard him looked at each other, unable to respond. Perhaps they hadn't even noticed the mark of the kick on my forehead, given how quickly and discreetly I had left. After a brief and futile wait, Kazu let the door close in silence.

"Come on, tell us what happened to you. If someone hit you, we'll have to give them a beating."

I looked at Kazu, wanting to smile. He wouldn't beat up Aira.

"Let's go eat, and I'll tell you."

We headed to the classroom, where we usually had lunch. The courtyard was probably our favorite spot, but on nice rain-free days like that one, it was usually packed with students, and there probably weren't any good vacant spots. The prefect was waiting for me at the door.

"Student Jina, you need to go to the principal's office," he said in a dry and neutral tone.

As he spoke, he noticed the more than obvious swelling on my face.

"But you should go to the nurse's office first," he added.

My friends intervened.

"We were about to sit down for lunch," Kazu said.

"He needs to eat something to recover," Pier added.

"And he was going to tell us what happened to his face," Emell said, referring to me.

"The principal also wants to know what happened," the prefect calmly replied.

Then he turned to me and said, "Go, student."

I obeyed without protest, feeling that my fate was sealed. Only serious cases ended up in the principal's office, and it was said that he carried himself with the airs of a judge or something of the sort, as if he had worked in a court of law.

"Is he getting into trouble?" I heard someone ask behind me.

The prefect paused, and I assumed he filled the silence with a facial expression before saying, "I hope not."

I didn't want to go to the nurse's office; I didn't see the need. The blow didn't hurt, and I wasn't interested in hiding it. Many, if not all, had just seen it.

On the other hand, I didn't want to visit the principal's office either. I wasn't ready to face punishment. And yet, I went, because not doing so was worse than doing it, because I had no alternative.

I slowly climbed the stairs to the third floor. Everyone I passed couldn't help but see my forehead, as if a third eye had sprouted there.

I arrived. The door was wooden and beautifully polished, gleaming because of it. I timidly knocked on the glass.

The door opened without haste, even with a hint of suspense. It was the principal himself who invited me in. He was of medium height and seldom smiled, but his countenance was always calm; he lacked the severity one might expect after having heard the legends about him in the hallways and on the playground. He was extremely neat and well-mannered; you could say that his clothes never wrinkled when he moved. He had a tidy and proportioned mustache, and his glasses were almost perfectly round, much like my grandfather's. His hair, impeccably combed, never had a strand out of place.

"Ah, it's you, Jina," he said upon seeing me, and when I entered the office, he gestured for me to sit.

We took our seats on either side of the desk. The report written by the Physical Education teacher rested in front of him.

"I was informed that you caused a commotion in the girls' locker room while the ladies were changing," he began, reviewing the words written by the teacher.

"A commotion...?" I murmured. It seemed like an exaggerated term.

"You understand that this is a serious offense, don't you, student Jina?"

The principal then looked up, moving his gaze from the paper to my face, over the lenses of his glasses, while resting his elbows on the desk and interlocking the tips of his fingers in front of his small, square chin. I couldn't bear the eye contact—even though the director was looking at me neutrally, not threateningly—and I lowered my gaze.

"Yes."

"Well, in this school, the rule of law prevails. That means that, while you have been accused of violating the school regulations, you have the right to present your defense. Do you understand that, student Jina?"

"I understand."

"Very well," said the principal, settling into his plush leather chair. "I'm listening."

"I entered because I saw some students going in."

The principal was surprised, though he didn't abandon his comfortable posture.

"Some students? What students?"

"I don't know, sir, I don't know them. I think they're from the first year."

"Hmm... You don't know them, you say? Noted."

And he did just that. The principal reached for a pen that lay to his side and wrote a brief phrase on a sheet of paper. It was as if he didn't believe me. In reality, he was being as impartial as possible, following his conscience; he remained true to his principles.

I continued my account:

"They rushed into the locker room, and I tried to stop them, but I couldn't."

"You could have avoided entering, especially in the manner you did," the principal opined.

"Yes, but..."

I wanted to explain that one of the youngsters was being taken against his will by the others, and I wanted to get them out of there. An untimely tapping on the glass prevented me from doing so.

"Come in!"

The door was opened.

"Excuse me!" exclaimed a cheerful voice.

I turned around and saw the cheerful girl, who was only halfway through the door, not allowing herself to enter completely.

"Good morning, principal! Do you have a minute to talk? It's... important."

Then she noticed my presence.

"Hello, Sanke," she said with her usual warmth, her smile gentle but well-defined.

"Yes, student," the principal replied. "Wait for me outside, and we'll talk in a minute."

"Alright, thank you!"

I turned back to the principal.

"Well, student, from what I see, your situation is..." He corrected himself, "seems complicated. You can leave now. You'll hear my verdict... soon."

I left wondering where the heck my right to a defense had gone. I didn't even greet the principal.

As I exited, I found the cheerful girl waiting by the door.

"Getting yourself into trouble?" she joked, her smile as sweet as honey and as soft as velvet, melting my insides.

However, I laughed half-heartedly, as I was also tired, annoyed, and hungry to take things lightly.

"You'll get through this. The principal isn't bad, as some people think; he's not a tyrant or a monster," she said in a hushed voice to avoid being overheard from the office.

I nodded in silence, wanting to believe her.

"Don't worry!" she exclaimed, giving me a thumbs-up. A second later, she had cheerfully slipped into the office.

I headed back to the classroom. I remembered that it was still lunchtime. Taking advantage of the lack of people around me, which was usual on that third floor of the school, I reached into a pocket and pulled out the silver medallion.

I looked at the symbol contained within it once more, whose meaning was deeply intriguing and impossible for me to fathom.

"’Don't worry,’ she says?”

The medallion spent the night in my possession. In the privacy of my room, I could study it with my gaze.

It was perfectly circular, about six centimeters in diameter, made of extremely fine silver—at least to my inexperienced eyes—and perfectly polished, shining despite being contaminated repeatedly by my touch. On the obverse side, there was a symbol in relief, composed of a cross and eight curves that seemed to form two circles, one inside the other, or a number eight, or the leaves of a clover... It's hard to say, even though I saw it with my own eyes up close. The reverse side had an inscription in three lines in a foreign language, written with symbols that were entirely unfamiliar to me. A chain made up of a multitude of tiny, equally silver links served to secure the medallion around its owner's neck.

After contemplating it for a long while, I placed it on the nightstand.

I didn't know why I had picked it up. It had been a spur-of-the-moment decision, something unusual for me. It was as if the medallion had asked me to take it with me, no matter how strange or unbelievable that may sound.

Without thinking and without hesitation, I had reached out and, while getting up to escape from the locker room, I had hidden it from the horrified eyes of my female classmates under my shirt.

But that had been theft. That was worse than accidentally entering the girls' locker room; for that, I could indeed be condemned—not only by the principal but also by any true court of law.

And speaking of the principal, I thought he wouldn't take long to deliver his verdict, to pronounce the sentence. I expected that very night he would personally call my parents to deliver the news; perhaps they would tell me not to bother going to school the next day, that I was suspended.

I think that, more than being condemned by a judge or a school principal, I feared disappointing my parents.

However, there was something even more unsettling. Why was this medallion, which I had seen in the possession of a killer, a diabolical girl who ate flesh, in the girls' locker room? Could it be that one of the students in the school was... that girl? What were the odds that the one I had now was another medallion identical to the one that young woman had? And what were the odds that it had been stolen—meaning I had stolen from a thief—or that one of my classmates had found it on the street and picked it up because it seemed too valuable to leave behind? Because the medallion looked like something of great value, something no one who saw it face-to-face could ignore, and something no one who found it in the street or elsewhere would leave behind.

I lay down and tried to quiet my persistent thoughts with the pages of a manga.

I succeeded for a while, but very soon scenes from that night of horror returned to haunt me, preventing me from having a peaceful night. The idea that the mysterious and valuable object resting on the nightstand might belong to an evil creature troubled me, despite my wishes to the contrary. It couldn't be a mere coincidence, and I couldn't remain indifferent to that fact.

"It's best if I return it," I thought, referring to the damned medallion.

I turned off the light, and then, in the pitch darkness of the room, I took the medallion and hid it under the pillow. I didn't want to leave it in plain sight for my parents to see, as I didn't want to lie to them or admit that I had stolen it.

"Yes, it's the best," I insisted before letting out a long yawn.

I moved my body somewhat lazily until I found a comfortable position, but the price was hearing a muffled noise on the side of the bed. The manga had fallen to the floor, pushed by my movements.

"Damn," I muttered. Then, I fell asleep.

The next day, I prepared to go to school as if it were a normal day, as the director hadn't called my house, and as far as I knew, I hadn't been punished. With some effort, I abandoned my horizontal position—first sitting, waiting for my brain to activate; after a few minutes, I got up. While picking up the uniform that hung from the back of the chair, I remembered that I had dreamed about Kari. I had seen her dressed in white on a bed bathed in light, and then she spoke to me cheerfully in private, something that rarely happened when I was awake. A place that vaguely felt familiar, simple blue clothing, and a giant question mark floating above her head were all I could add to what I remembered from my dream.

I shook my head in despair. I felt like I could slowly lose my mind if I didn't do something about it soon.

I moved the chair, sat on it, and put on my socks. Something unusual immediately caught my attention.

The last of the three drawers of the desk was not properly closed.

In that way, it doesn't sound strange, as it's probably very common to not properly close a drawer. However, that was the only drawer I never opened unless in rare and exceptional circumstances. I knelt on the floor and brought my face close to the drawer, as if I couldn't believe it unless I saw it.

I opened the drawer. It offered a slight resistance that was characteristic, which I attributed to the weight of the objects inside. At first glance, nothing seemed to be missing. I stored old notebooks there that I couldn't bring myself to throw away and two small books I never read. And under the cover of one of those books...

The letter I had written for the cheerful girl but had never intended to give her.

The letter was still there, to my relief, as I checked when I removed it from its place.

Except... it was folded incorrectly.

My face turned red instantly. Someone had violated my privacy and discovered my best-kept secret! Someone had made their way to the most secluded corner of my domain, secretly bared my heart, and did so without my permission!

The person who had accessed the letter had carelessly returned it to its place, not only failing to close the drawer completely but also placing the paper in such a way that it had been folded imperfectly—obliquely—under the books and notebooks that were supposed to protect it.

I smoothed out the sheet of paper with my hand and put it back in its place, with the books and notebooks on top of it. I wondered who could have gone through the drawer and read the letter. My mother came to mind immediately; maybe she had entered my room when I wasn't there, and well... I guess those things happen.

I closed my eyes tightly and cursed my bad luck. How could I look my mother in the eye knowing that she knew my embarrassing secret? I had never mentioned anything about having feelings for a girl, especially since I had never been interested in anyone romantically before meeting the cheerful girl. "I should have hidden it better," I complained.

Then I noticed something else: the volume of the manga I had been reading was innocently resting on the nightstand. I approached it, completely embarrassed, and just to make sure it was the same one I had read the night before, I knelt by the bed and reached my arm into the space between the nightstand and the bedpost. There was nothing there, just air and dust.

Upright once again, I paced around the bedroom uneasily, searching the floor and the furniture for more oddities to discover, more things out of place. I was beginning to believe that it hadn't been my mother who had opened the desk drawer.

The gentle morning breeze on my face surprised me. The bedroom window turned out to be partially open.

I couldn't remember if I had left it properly closed the night before.

Then, impulsively, I lunged onto the bed and tossed the pillow aside. The medallion was still there. I took it and examined it with my back to the window.

"Could it be that... someone came looking for this?"

I quickly stashed the medallion in my backpack and left the room.

When I embarked on my daily journey to school, I was already mortified. It was clear to me that someone had entered my room while I slept and, besides being kind enough to pick up the volume of the manga that had fallen off the bed, they had found and likely read the letter I had written but never intended to deliver to the cheerful girl. This last part added absolute embarrassment to my unease. There was someone out there who knew my most intimate feelings, who had read things I never thought I would express, except in the unlikely event that I ended up with the cheerful girl. But, on the other hand, if that nighttime intrusion had something to do with the matter of the silver medallion, I was probably in danger. After all, if the diabolical girl I had seen on the nameless street discovered that I had stolen the medallion... it wasn't difficult to reason that I could be her next victim.

Just thinking about it made my forehead break out in cold sweat, and my stomach twisted in the middle of the street.

"I need to return it today," I thought, referring to the medallion, "and close the window tonight. But how do I return it? Leaving it in the women's locker room would be ideal, but I don't know if it's a good idea to go there after what happened yesterday. Maybe I can go after class, after everyone has left... No, I think they lock the door at that time. Perhaps I'll try throwing it out the window and let someone find it tomorrow..."

I arrived at school.

I tried to act as if nothing had happened the day before, but some of the girls in my class didn't want to see me and looked away when I passed by them.

I didn't let that discourage me, and I spent the day with my friends, to whom I had recounted what had happened the day before. However, every now and then, I was aware that my punishment was imminent.

As I mentioned before, I felt that my fate was sealed.

I had lunch in the classroom with my friends. It was hot outside, and the courtyard and terrace were probably full of students. Inside the classroom, the air was cooler, and the atmosphere was calmer.

"Well, it's noon, and the prefect hasn't said anything to you. I guess you're in the clear," Kazu told me as he opened his lunch container.

"It seems so," I replied.

"In a way, I see it as a pity," Pier said. "If you had been reprimanded, it would have been a good opportunity to put my idea into practice."

"Oh, you're on that again..." Emell protested.

"Of course: the basement prison at school; a place where the juvenile delinquents who populate this school receive the treatment they deserve," Pier said, growing increasingly excited. Then he turned to me. "Tell me, Sanke, wouldn't you like to be punished by the President herself in the basement?"

Kazu laughed; I didn't want to answer such an absurd question, and, besides, I suddenly felt embarrassed to share the table with someone who spoke so casually about prisons and punishments (read: torture).

"I already told you there's no basement in this school," Emell told him.

At that very moment, the cheerful girl and her friends returned from lunch and stood near the first row, inches from the blackboard, very close to each other, chatting animatedly. After a minute, Aira separated from the group and timidly moved towards the back, in our direction. Emell took the opportunity to ask her:

"Hey, Aira, would you like to kick Pier in the groin? He needs it."

"What?!" she exclaimed while blushing uncontrollably. "Don't involve me in obscene activities," she added with profound disdain towards us.

Then she clenched her fist tightly and gritted her teeth.

"Ugh, I don't want to know what perverted things are in your minds..." she muttered.

She turned around and returned, stomping her feet on the ground next to her friends, to continue their conversation. They were discussing something in private. I tried to ignore them, but I noticed a couple of times they glanced in my direction.

What could they be plotting?

I got up from my seat and left without looking at them. I was going to the bathroom to wash my hands.

The gossip seemed to intensify as I passed by them.

I didn't get very far when someone softly and imperfectly cleared their throat behind me. I stopped and turned towards the source of the sound, naturally feeling targeted.

My eyes found Aira standing in front of me. She had a look of disgust on her face.

"The principal..." she said in a trembling voice, so much so that she had to pause.

She timidly handed me a sealed envelope that she held in her hand.

"The principal said... he obliged me to write you an apology letter for..."

I quickly took the envelope and opened it in front of her eyes.

"You don't have to read it now!" she snapped, already angry. I ignored her and read a brief message written on a piece of paper:

"Sorry for hitting you."

It had no signature, date, or anything else. It occurred to me that it was a waste to use a whole sheet of paper to write just those four words.

I looked up. Aira had crossed her arms, furrowed her brow, and her cheeks had turned slightly red. I wanted to laugh at my luck. Not only had I been saved from severe punishment, but now it was Aira who had to apologize to me.

"I don't know why I have to apologize. I actually did you a favor. I improved that face of yours," she told me, while looking away disdainfully.

Pleased, I couldn't resist making a joke.

"So, do you like it now?"

Aira got furious, tensing her limbs like a cat. She raised a fist in front of my face and muttered:

"I'm going to punch you in the eye..."

"Well, why are you so irritable?" I asked.

Aira calmed down; her muscles relaxed. She suddenly seemed saddened.

"It's because something valuable got lost... Something of value..." she murmured, her gaze turned to the side.

However, she quickly added, remembering she was angry:

"Well, it's none of your business!"

She turned around, but before returning to her friends, she looked at me with one eye and said:

"And don't be so happy. The principal spared your life because the President told him it wasn't your fault. I would have sentenced you to two years in jail for being a pervert."

She walked away from me; as she did, she exhaled sarcastically and muttered to herself, "I really don't understand..."

After the fleeting feeling of relief and the sweetness of my unexpected triumph over Aira, I became serious. I felt guilty for still having the medallion in my possession. I had stolen it for no reason—not out of necessity, not even out of greed—and it really served no purpose for me. On the other hand, I was still disturbed by the possibility that one of the girls in the class, one of my classmates with whom I had shared more than two years of school, could be nothing less than a cold and ruthless killer.

Could Aira be the girl I had seen on the nameless street?

It didn't seem so; her appearance didn't quite match that of the girl in the white dress. However, it was true that I hadn't been able to see that one clearly that night, and over time, the image I remembered of her was gradually enveloped in the mist of forgetfulness.

I couldn't help but admit that it was a possibility.

Maybe Aira was a little violent at times, on certain days she could easily lose her temper, she was haughty, elitist, and lacked empathy... but a murderer? That was entirely different; that was too much for her.

But it was also possible, why not?

The same person who was ashamed to apologize to me could stab me in the throat in a second and eat my entrails.

She might kill me if she found out I had her valuable medallion.

She could have killed me in my room while I slept peacefully if she had found the medallion on my nightstand.

There was also another issue, the intervention of the cheerful girl in my favor. I now knew that she had spoken to the principal and managed to have the charges dropped against me. I assumed that she had somehow learned the truth, or she was convinced that I was not capable of rushing into the girls' locker room to cause "a commotion"... The words she had said to me before entering the principal's office made sense now. "You'll get through this." It wasn't just an expression to encourage me; it was reality. She was going to get me through this. With that situation in mind, it was my duty to thank her.

All these thoughts and many more distracted me from class.

When the sound of the dismissal bell echoed throughout the school, I already knew what I had to do.

I caught up with the cheerful girl in the main hallway, halfway between the classroom and the exit. Her friends surrounded her, as usual. Nerves threatened to make me back out at the last moment, but with some effort, I managed to maintain my determination. There was no room for doubt, and I couldn't miss the opportunity to do the right thing.

I suppose Aira must have felt that way when she decided to apologize to me in writing.

Furthermore, I couldn't continue to delay the moment of returning the medallion (by this point, I wanted nothing more than to get rid of it), because every minute, every second I kept it in my possession, increased the risk of something happening to me. Who can say that nothing could have happened to me on the peaceful and boring way back home?

"President..."

The four girls turned towards me. The cheerful girl raised her lively eyebrows and smiled.

"Sanke!"

"Can we talk for a minute?"

The joy on the cheerful girl's face diminished slightly, probably due to the unusual nature of my request. Nevertheless, she agreed to it, while her friends made expressions of suspicion or surprise.

"Yes, of course," she replied amiably, approaching me. "How can I help you?"

I took a few steps back, inviting her to follow me. Obviously, the conversation had to be private. The other girls stayed to watch us. To ensure they couldn't hear what I was saying, I took the precaution of speaking in a rather low voice.

"Aira told me... that you helped me with the issue of... you know, what happened yesterday."

"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed after thinking for a moment, her eyes looking upward. "Well, it's nothing."

"You knew I didn't want to go in there, right? And that..."

"One of the boys from the 1-A class told me everything. About how his classmates took him to the locker room by force, and he said you tried to stop it. Yes, I told the principal because he needed to know."

"You saved me."

"Well, it's not that big of a deal," she said modestly, and she smiled again, nodding vigorously with her head and closing her eyes.

"Yes, it is. Thank you, Kari."

"It's nothing, really," she insisted, and then jokingly added, "but don't do it again."

She was turning to leave when I stopped her.

"And..."

She tilted her head slightly and curved her eyebrows.

"And Aira also told me that she lost something."

The cheerful girl thought for a second or two, trying to deduce what I was referring to. She was about to say something about it, but as soon as she opened her mouth, I took the darn medallion out of my pocket and showed it to her.

Her eyes immediately widened, and her mouth froze. In the distance, her friends were also surprised to recognize the object in my hand.

"Is this it?" I asked. "I found it... and it seemed too valuable to leave lying around."

Ruri, Aira, and Hana rushed over.

"It's your medallion!" they told the cheerful girl.

My blood ran cold.

"But how?" Ruri murmured, looking at me, stunned.

"He had it?" Aira asked, on the verge of indignation.

"Oh, thank you, Sanke!" Kari exclaimed, her agitation evident in the trembling of her voice, the nervous movements of her eyes and limbs, and the fact that her normally eternal smile had disappeared. "I thought it was lost. I really owe you one!"

I could have said it was nothing or that it was okay, as I normally would have, but I didn't. Instead, I said:

"Well, if that's the case, I might ask you for something."

Ruri gave Kari a gentle nudge and said, discreetly but still audible to me, "Are you sure, President? Will you grant him anything? My sister says that men ask for... what was the word? Oh, yes, 'abominable' things."

Kari looked at Ruri with confusion, not understanding what she was saying.

"What do you mean?"

"Anyway, thanks, really," I said.

"Yes, let's go," Aira intervened, looking at me with deep distrust.

The four girls set off. Hana and Ruri held onto Kari's arms, while Aira followed closely behind. Kari's friends didn't stop looking at me, relieved but unable to understand how I had come into possession of the medallion.

I was unfocused all the way back home. My mind was disturbed just by the thought that the cheerful girl might actually be the mysterious girl from the nameless street. Closing my eyes several times, I tried to fit Kari's figure into that of the girl in the white dress; there was some physical resemblance, but as I mentioned earlier, my memory wasn't so clear anymore, and a part of me didn't want to remember what I had seen that night.

I arrived home. I went straight to my room and collapsed on the bed. I was confused, restless. A flood of varied sensations, some even contradictory, engulfed me.

I spent a long time with my eyes closed, resting, as if sleeping. Images of the cheerful girl and the creature of the night flashed by in rapid succession in front of me.

After that, I got up.

Return to index

Chapter 8

I found my parents conversing in the living room.

"I'm going out," I announced, speaking a bit quickly, as if in a hurry. Then I briefly but affectionately hugged my mother, a gesture she gladly accepted. Next, I stood by my father and placed my hand on his shoulder. He responded with affectionate pats on my back.

"Are you having dinner here?" my mother asked.

"Um... I don't know."

"Take care then!"

I stepped out into the fresh breeze. It made me happy to see that my parents were content. It made me happy. If that had to be the last time they saw me, then it was best to show myself so cheerful, so happy, in front of them. And if that had to be the last time I saw them, then it was best to see them happy.

Happy, my parents and I.

My good mood faded too quickly, as I became aware again of why I was out on the street. Soon, a feeling of nervous uncertainty grew within me. But I was already on the move; I didn't know my exact destination, but I knew I would recognize the house when I saw it.

And so it was: after a journey of five train stations, I hurriedly ventured into the narrow alleyways of a certain neighborhood whose sidewalks I hadn't trodden in a long time. In all those years, it hadn't changed a bit, which helped me find the house. It was located in an area of small, tightly packed houses, overshadowed during the day by the towering apartment buildings that stood nearby, like a concrete wall.

For some reason, I had been on edge the entire trip, feeling an inexplicable impatience to arrive and knock on the door as I hadn't when I arrived. Instead, I managed to keep up appearances and appear calm.

Five, ten seconds passed with no one appearing behind the door. An outbreak of restlessness surged within me, urging my hand to reach for the doorknob, with a strange desire to grasp it and shake it. My fingers were already circling it when it turned slowly, almost suspensefully.

The door opened just as slowly, and a wide-open eye that seemed fearful appeared in the narrow opening. It was Kire, who, as soon as she recognized me, relaxed and came out to meet me.

"Sanke! How are you?"

"Hello, Kii."

Despite the late hour, she was still wearing her school uniform, just like me.

"What brings you here?" she asked, cheerfully surprised.

"Me? Nothing... Well, I was just passing by and..."

Kire watched me closely as I offered my feeble attempt at an excuse. Her face soon took on a worried expression.

"Sanke, what's wrong with you?"

I leaned against the wall in an attempt to hide or at least dampen the trembling in my legs.

"Nothing, why do you ask?"

"It's just that your face... Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," she hurriedly clarified.

I smiled weakly and turned my face toward the horizon, hiding my expression from Kire's gaze. I wasn't offended by her comment, as she had made it without malice, but it did make me realize that the anxiety I didn't want to show was, in fact, quite noticeable.

We fell silent for a moment.

"Don't you want to come in and have something to drink?" Kire asked.

"No... I'm leaving. I just came to say hello."

"I see," Kire said, and she thought for a few seconds. "My parents and my brother are home. Don't you want to greet them too?"

"Yes... Well... You know that if I step inside for a minute, they'll make me stay the whole night," I said and chuckled. "I know them."

Kire got excited and laughed with me.

"That's true."

We both looked at the landscape for a moment. Yellow and orange lights emanated from the tiny windows of the houses, less colorful and vibrant than the sky dyed by the setting sun, which descended to disappear behind the silhouettes of houses and apartment buildings. Clothes hung peacefully from the ropes on the terraces, without a breeze to sway them. Some pedestrians strolled down the street without hurry.

"Hey," I said after a moment. "What happened to your school friend? Have you seen her again?"

"Huh? Oh, that. Yes, she missed two days of school, but then she came back."

"So, I trust she's okay after all..."

"Yeah... Well, she is."

"But?"

"But her grandfather never showed up."

A mysterious negative sensation washed over me.

"I see," I said unintentionally somber, lowering my gaze. "Yes, I suppose that's something that could happen," I added.

"Sanke."

I ignored her and remained in a thoughtful posture.

"Sanke, what's wrong with you?" Kire insisted.

She had positioned herself in front of me and was watching me closely with two terrified eyes, as if something horrifying were about to happen right then and there.

"Nothing. I have to go," I said solemnly.

"Sanke, why are you talking like that? You sound like her..." Kire said, her voice on the verge of breaking.

"I'm fine. Maybe it's nothing," I told her, attempting to smile while placing a hand on her shoulder to try to dispel her fears.

I was already leaving when Kire stopped me by pinching the sleeve of my shirt.

"In the end," she said, "they did report the old man's disappearance. But there's still no news."

I nodded.

"They did the right thing. Yes, it was the right thing to do."

The tension began to ease.

"Goodbye, Kii. I'll see you later."

"Okay, but you have to come tomorrow."

"Of course."

Kii pouted as she held onto the sleeve of my shirt again.

"Promise."

"I promise. Tomorrow, I'll come to spend the day with you," I affirmed, firmly placing a hand on her shoulder.

And I managed to muster the strength to offer her a sincere smile. She caught onto it and, regaining her spirits, nodded with a broad smile.

"Yes!"

After that brief mission, I had to continue on to my true objective.

I was a bit calmer, but something still bothered me. I was realizing that I didn't know why I had visited Kire so unexpectedly, and I had needlessly frightened her, acting strangely and perhaps terrifyingly dramatic—mysteriously dramatic, looking back from the perspective of time. I should have created a more natural situation to talk to her, but that night there was no time to do so.

And to make matters worse, at that time, I had probably deceived her with my improvised attempt to make up for the mistake of visiting her.

Twilight was in full swing: half of the sun had already disappeared behind the roofs of the low houses in the neighborhood, and in one corner of the sky, the moon was making its presence known.

The bus took a few minutes to arrive, as if it had deliberately delayed to give me a chance to reconsider my decision, as if it had wanted to offer me one last opportunity to back out.

But I was determined. I wasn't thinking about what I was doing, or anything else. I simply waited until the bus appeared.

I got on, and during the entire trip, I didn't want to think about anything. I kept my gaze fixed on the landscape. I was still somewhat nervous, and in the back of my mind, the images of that horrible night three months ago were pulsating.

The journey passed by quickly. When I realized it, I was nearing my destination.

I got off the bus and stood still, unresponsive.

I wasn't ready.

I really wasn't, and yet, through an impulse, I managed to break my unconscious stillness.

I remember jogging across the street, as if the slightest delay would make me change my mind.

I couldn't recognize the streets I had walked the first time, but I knew where they were, and that was all the guidance I needed.

I also knew where the alley was.

As I approached it, I stopped hurrying and began to walk. Nerves were mostly reflected in my breathing, leaving me with little oxygen to sustain a brisk pace.

I took a break on a street corner. The sky was already tinted with intense orange, streaked with reddish bands, and high above the rooftops and terraces, the night arrived in a purplish tide.

The streetlights all came on at once, but they contributed only a little extra light to the surroundings, almost going unnoticed.

There were no people on the street. I took a long look around but couldn't find anyone. I wondered if this was common at this time of the evening.

From a distance, I looked toward the end of the alley where I had seen the girl in the white dress exit. It was dark; it looked like the mouth of a sinister and narrow tunnel or the entrance to a semi-secret passage.

I wandered the nearby streets like a stray dog, undecided, with no clear direction, just turning around. Everywhere, around every corner and on the asphalt of every street, I found only solitude. I moved as if in a ghost town, as if the population had been annihilated, and their remnants had dissipated in the humid air of the approaching night.

Or as if everyone had run to hide from a white angel of death before it appeared.

Feeling so alone, with the whole neighborhood to myself, I finally sat down to rest on the doorstep of a house. I couldn't estimate how much time had passed while I was doing nothing. Just a few meters away, I had bumped into Hana some time ago—although the corners of the neighborhood all looked very much alike, I could recognize it easily. That moment had become a distant memory.

I rested my head against the door and closed my eyes. My nervousness discharged through my limbs—especially my legs—causing an annoying tingling sensation.

I took a deep breath of the cool evening breeze.

The sound of rhythmic footsteps surprised me. A youthful figure passed by me just as I opened my eyes. It was a girl who was walking cheerfully, taking a little skip every three or four steps. In one hand, she carried a plastic bag with an object inside; it wasn't difficult to deduce that she had just been shopping.

It was Kari, without a doubt.

I jumped up, unconsciously.

"Hey...! Kari...!"

Kari froze on the spot and immediately turned toward me.

The last golden rays of a sun setting behind the cement horizon illuminated one side of her, while the cold, whitish artificial light spilled over her other side. The same girl was thus divided in two halves: the one everyone knew and loved—the cheerful and charismatic model student and class president, the girl with a heart of gold—and an unknown half with incredible and sinister undertones, which apparently only I had seen.

I had no doubts that Kari was somehow involved in that dreadful affair, whatever it was, and, moreover, seeing her as I did, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the terrible premonition that it was Kari whom I had seen killing the man that night.

"Hello! How are you?" she greeted me, not letting her appearance reveal the surprise of finding me because how could she know that she was going to meet me?

I returned the greeting, trying to conceal the ominous feeling that had taken hold of me.

Unlike me, she wasn't wearing her school uniform, but a light-colored blouse; with a quick glance at her neck, I tried to spot the medallion, but without success.

"Regarding the medallion... I'm sorry if I seemed like a thief," I apologized, shaking my head as I spoke.

"Oh, don't worry," Kari said. "No one thought that. Thanks again for returning it."

"Yes... You see, today I wanted to ask you what the symbol on it means."

"Oh, that?" she said nervously. "It's a very old emblem from my ancestors."

She paused for a second, then added:

"Sorry, I'm in a bit of a hurry, but we can talk another day."

It was unusual for the cheerful girl to end a conversation like this. Typically, she would engage in friendly conversation with anyone who wanted to talk to her. Only an urgent matter could force her to interrupt the chat—or was I making her uncomfortable, or did she want to avoid me?

Without waiting for me to say anything about it, Kari turned around and continued on her way.

"Goodbye, Sanke!" she sang, barely starting to move.

A bittersweet taste washed over me. For once, I had been able to be alone with Kari, and she had to leave. I hadn't been able to sustain a two-minute conversation. It was things like that one later says, "it only happens to me."

In the meantime, all traces of the sun had already disappeared from the sky. Instead, the roundness of a huge lunar aura appeared above and below an elongated, leaden cloud.

I turned to look at Kari, who was walking away hastily, not hiding her urgency, without skipping or swinging her bag.

As she reached the corner, her gait became somewhat erratic, and she slowed down; her legs didn't seem very steady. When she tried to cross the street, a speeding car almost hit her. Unfazed, Kari continued her hurried march. However, on the other side of the street, she began to stumble.

I grew concerned. Clearly, something was wrong. I ran after her, and as I got closer, it became increasingly difficult for her to move. Her legs were trembling, one hand was pressed against her chest, and the other was clutching the wall for support as she struggled to reach her destination.

"Kari! Are you okay?" I persisted, stepping in front of her and holding onto her shoulders.

She raised her head, and through the hair covering part of her face, illuminated by the moonlight, I saw a grimace of pain. Her eyes, once bright, were now half-closed. Her body gave way, and I had to support her to prevent her from collapsing. I realized she was as light as a feather. I knelt down carefully, positioning her so her back rested against my torso, while I used one hand to support her head to prevent it from falling backward, like that of a baby with no neck strength. The pained expression on her face disappeared; now Kari appeared to be resting or peacefully asleep, as she had also closed her eyes.

After a few seconds, she suddenly opened her eyes.

"You have to go..." she muttered.

Then she moved her head and with a sudden movement of her arm, she pushed mine away, freeing herself from me. Immediately, she began to get up, albeit clumsily, making a determined effort to do so. In the process, she also picked up the bag that had fallen to the ground.

"What are you saying? You can hardly walk. Let me help you."

Kari shook her head as she attempted a few clumsy steps, trying to leave me behind.

"No, Sanke," she said seriously, her voice on the verge of breaking.

Less than ten steps later, Kari stumbled and was about to fall. I was forced to react. Without warning her, I wrapped my arm around her and helped her walk. Initially, Kari tried to resist, but her strength was feeble.

"I'm just going to take you to your house."

Painful expressions crossed her face despite her vain attempts to hide them.

We walked about fifty meters, and in front of a wooden gate, Kari stopped moving.

"This is my house," she indicated.

With a trembling hand, she searched for and found the keys, which took her some time, partly due to the poor lighting. Meanwhile, I took a look at the house behind the gate. It had two stories, like most houses in the area, but it was noticeably larger than the other houses on the block. The lights on the upper floor were off. Judging by the distance from the gate to the house, I deduced that it had a small front garden.

Kari turned the key and weakly pushed open a side door. Indeed, behind it, I saw a path made of large smooth stones, flanked by vegetation, separating it from her home.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Her face had a somber look.

She stepped away from me and seemed to be able to walk somewhat upright. However, before leaving, she retraced her steps and approached me for a moment, making me notice that her cheeks were flushed as if she had a fever. She pleaded with me, her lips close to my ear and her voice sweet but also infused with fear:

"Now, please, leave. It's dark."

The door closed gently, making almost no noise. I remained motionless until I recognized the sound of the house door opening and then closing. Afterward, the neighborhood fell back into absolute silence.

I started walking, but I wasn't sure where to go.

That wasn't Kari.

She looked like her, but she wasn't her.

Kari wasn't like that. Not the Kari I knew.

Even so, when I held her to keep her from falling, and when I helped her walk, worried as I was, all I could think of was embracing and kissing her.

I started walking. There was nothing else to do.

I realized I had held Kari herself in my arms, but with the tension of the situation, I couldn't enjoy it, and I wasn't aware of how close I had gotten to her.

Everything had happened too quickly, like a dream scene that abruptly ends with a simple opening of the eyes.

I reversed my steps and turned the corner.

I can't pretend innocence and say that I didn't notice or didn't know. As I turned the corner and walked a bit, I found myself in front of the alley. I gazed at it at my own risk. A yellowish light fell upon it, illuminating a trash container and the skeleton of an old appliance, patches of weeds, and the protrusions of doors and windows that opened onto the alley. The passage was long, and shadows and silhouettes of undefined origin accumulated there, where the lamppost light didn't reach.

Something very difficult to explain prevented me from running away; something was indeed trying to attract me, inviting me to venture into the murky narrowness of the alley. Besides, this alley was behind Kari's house.

So, I couldn't bring myself to move. All I could do was examine the alley with its partially revealed interior, without daring to go any further.

Part of me considered looking for the door or window of Kari's house and spying on the inside.

I dismissed the idea almost immediately. It was nonsensical.

But then... despite the dim light, I noticed some stains on the ground, right by my feet. A trail of glistening drops led into the alley. Almost immediately, before I could even hesitate between following the trail or leaving, a faint moan in the distance broke the silence of the night, echoing in my ears. Insecure, I ventured into the alley. I didn't advance more than seven or eight timid and cautious steps when I came upon two partially bent legs lying on the ground in front of me. They belonged to a woman, whose body was mostly covered in shadows. Nevertheless, apart from her legs, I could see her face. Her eyes were vacant, lifeless, like those of a dying person about to expire, and they didn't turn to me when I arrived. The woman was crying profusely, and her trembling jaw hung loose; her slightly open mouth emitted nothing more than a long, pitiful whimper. The sleeve of her shirt was torn, and on her bare arm were bloody streaks resembling the scratches of a wild animal.

"What is this?" I said to myself, observing the horrifying scene. Then, without wasting time, I approached the woman and bent down to help her out. As soon as I placed my hand on her arm, hidden in the darkness, the woman's entire body shivered violently, as if suddenly returning to life; her eyes opened wide, but she didn't turn her head, and her pupils stared seriously at my face.

"No, no..." she murmured as best she could, given her trembling jaw. I supposed she thought I was going to hurt her more than she had already been.

"Come on, we need to get out of here," I said, while gripping the woman's arm more firmly with one hand and sliding the other under her back to lift her.

Initially, the woman seemed to resist, but I managed to get her to sit down, with her legs bent and her shoulders and head drooping.

And then, as I let go and straightened up, a shadow very close to me detached itself from the darkness in which it had been concealed, taking on the form of a being...

Not just any kind of being, obviously.

It had a threatening figure, tall and bulky, with long hair and a single piece of clothing, resembling a long tunic, a long dress, or a nightgown. Its enormous eyes emitted a powerful gleam that warned me of its intentions.

The figure began by bending over and extending its thick arms to grab its prey without ever taking its eyes off me. The woman, on the other hand, contrary to her reaction when I had tried to help her, didn't resist, although her body spasmed. Perhaps she had lost all hope of salvation and resigned herself to being dragged to a fatal fate.

And I wanted to stop it. I couldn't allow them to take a person—a human being—right in front of my eyes... again.

It's not that I had consciously decided. There was no time for that, and in any case, if I had been allowed to make a decision about what to do, I probably would have fled, even though I don't take pride in saying it.

Mine was an unconscious reaction, something one does without thinking, like a puppet moved by someone else's will.

I lunged forward, attacking the figure with long hair and long robes.

I hit it with my shoulder and arm; it would have hurt just as much if I had collided with the wall. The figure staggered for a moment; out of surprise, its claws let go of the woman, who was now lying at its feet. Then, suddenly, it reached out its arm to strike me, which I partially avoided due to cat-like reflexes and partly because I opportunistically tripped over the fallen woman's legs, causing me to stumble.

But I wouldn't have time to recover. Before I could even stand up, the figure jumped at an incredible speed above the woman and with its other arm captured me... by the neck. It held me firmly, at first without squeezing, allowing me to breathe as little as possible. However, when I began to kick and try to free myself, it decided to slowly close its fingers around my throat, with a sadistic and cruel expression visible in the part of its face that emerged from the darkness.

If I had had time to feel something, I would have felt that this was the end, that my time had come.

Then, someone let out a gasp that pierced through the entire alley.

And then I heard that someone shouting, "No!"

And that same someone emerged from somewhere, and all my pain-stricken eyes could see was an arm waving in front of me, cutting through the air, fast, bright, and fleeting like lightning. Almost immediately, the pressure on my neck disappeared. Coughing and gasping, trying to catch my breath, I could make out a struggle between the terrifying figure and a young woman.

There was no doubt who she was, not even in the dimly lit depths of the poorly lit passageway.

"Go away!" she exclaimed, taking a moment to look at me directly.

But I was petrified, unable to react.

It was so strange, so shocking to see... Kari... there, and in that way. The sweet young girl, the one with a heart of gold, the cheerful girl, was in a sinister corner of the city where people were attacked, and she fought with beings larger than herself.

The figure struck her on the head, and Kari was thrown back. She leaned against the wall with her back.

The situation was so incredible and felt so unreal...

But she was Kari, and I couldn't abandon her.

And again, I didn't decide it. My body moved on its own.

I held onto Kari and pulled her toward me before she could receive another blow. The figure's claws whizzed over her head and struck the wall.

I fled into the nameless street with Kari behind me, still holding onto my arm. With her free hand, she pushed me. Before leaving the alley, I managed to take one last look at the woman. She lay still, perhaps already dead or only unconscious. The figure followed us for a few meters, fury burning in its giant eyes.

As soon as we lost sight of the figure, which had turned back into the alley, Kari stopped running. I stopped too, and doing so, I felt cramps in my legs, the pounding of my heart, and the need to breathe again.

Exhausted as I was, I looked at Kari. Her blouse was stained with blood, and I couldn't tell if it was hers or someone else's. Blood also dripped down her arms, neck, and face.

And she...

She sobbed, and her eyes were filled with tears that mixed with the blood on her face and rolled down her pale cheeks.

Kari opened her huge, beautiful eyes a little to look at me and exclaimed, while lightly hitting my chest:

"I told you to leave! I told you!"

With a constricted heart, all I could do was watch as Kari brought her hands to her face, lamenting, turned her back on me, and walked away. Still sobbing, she ran across the street and disappeared into the shadows of the night.

The first drops of an unexpected rain fell at that very moment.

I arrived home late and wet from the rain, after wandering aimlessly through the streets. My parents were already going to bed. That made it easy for me to avoid them seeing my face, the one that had been radiant with happiness just a few hours earlier.

I collapsed on the bed without taking off my clothes or covering myself with the blanket. My body had no energy left for anything.

A multitude of thoughts crowded my mind, which left me in a daze. I had left home without a clear reason, and I had come dangerously close to dying in a dark alley. Yes, I had escaped death; I had saved myself for just a few seconds, perhaps no more than five or ten. Although... in reality, I had been saved. And by none other than Kari, the cheerful girl, the one with the heart of gold, the girl we all loved, admired, and respected. The girl who might have turned into a ruthless killer who fed on her victims... No, that couldn't be real. That young woman couldn't be Kari, the Kari we all knew. It had to be a hallucination, a bad dream. But if it was a dream, why did it feel so real, why were my sensations and memories so vivid? And why couldn't I convince myself that the girl in the white dress and Kari were two different people? And why did they have to take the lives of that man and that woman? Why? Why...?

A kind of fever came over me; my head felt heavy, and I felt like I was about to get sick, or already starting to.

I tossed and turned in bed. Constantly and without rest, images of what had happened that afternoon flashed before me. The deserted streets at dusk. The woman lying in the middle of the alley, next to a pool of her own blood. The figure about to attack me; its diabolical and inhuman eyes. A girl... Kari, saving me. Kari... walking happily toward her home. Kari... in my arms, light as a feather.

Kari... crying inconsolably.

Crying for a reason I couldn't understand.

My eyes remained open in the darkness of the room. I had no trace of drowsiness, even though I was tired and disturbed. Kari's tear-filled eyes fixed on my mind and tormented me from the ceiling.

"I told you to leave!"

It was the first time I had seen her cry. To see a girl like her cry... it was heartbreaking.

I sat up in bed and lay back down. I closed my eyes and opened them again. I tossed and turned in bed and around it. My mind couldn't be still, and neither could my body.

I wondered... where had Kari gone? She hadn't told me, and I hadn't followed her either.

I looked out the window, as if I could have seen something other than the wall of the house across the street, illuminated by a streetlight, as if my answer could have been out there.

I wanted to go after her, but I no longer dared, no longer felt willing to keep risking myself. I was aware that next time, I might lose my life for real, with no chance of salvation. After what I had experienced and the scenes I couldn't stop replaying in my head, I no longer felt so brave, and the recklessness of my actions seemed inexplicable to me.

However, the unease, the uncertainty about what had happened to Kari gnawed at me from the inside. I fervently wished she was safe, while I was driven crazy by not feeling capable of leaving the house and going to look for her. I pounded the mattress and strangled the blanket, and I fell face-first onto the floor, then I tried to calm down, trying to rest, and after a while, I started cursing under my breath and wanting to break the objects in my room.

I imagined Kari, safe and sound, vital, beautiful, radiant, and, above all, as cheerful as ever, in the school hallways, in the classroom, in the courtyard. As if nothing had happened.

I wished... to wake up the next morning and discover that it had all been a long dream.

Return to index

Chapter 9

I woke up.

Everything around me seemed normal, although there wasn't much to make out in the dim light.

For a few seconds, I felt fine, as if I had had a restful night's sleep, but then a lingering fatigue settled into my body. Some images from the previous night quickly resurfaced to haunt my disheveled and drowsy face.

I murmured her name.

The sun hadn't risen outside yet, although the horizon was beginning to brighten.

The house and the neighborhood were quiet and silent. Everyone was asleep, except for me.

Without thinking too much, I put on my shoes and went outside. The day was cool, and the only traces of the rain were the dampness in the air and the water pooled by the curb. The clouds had almost completely vanished from the sky.

I took a deep breath of the refreshing air of the dawning day, infused with dew.

After the horrifying and unbelievable events of the previous night, any small, normal situation could only feel good to me.

I wondered where she had gone. She must have spent the night somewhere. And if she hadn't returned home, then she must have had another place to stay, maybe with her friends or a relative.

Part of me wanted to believe that Kari was okay after all, and that whatever problem she had encountered, she had managed to resolve it, although I had no evidence or reason to think that way.

I went back into the house and prepared breakfast. I let time pass as the sun gradually rose, breaking through the few remaining clouds in the sky, which eventually cleared completely.

Then I returned to my room to continue dwelling on the same thoughts I had been having, but now with more composure, reclining against the bed's headboard.

At times, I felt strangely and inexplicably calm; I was surprised by the fear that I might somehow be accepting the situation, or that was the feeling I had at the time.

Finally, I concluded that there would be nothing wrong with passing by Kari's house if I didn't have malicious intentions, if I only wanted to take a morning stroll.

I wanted to see the cheerful girl again, her characteristic smile, her delicate—yet energetic—and charming movements, and her inexhaustible zest for life.

I wanted only that part of her to remain in my mind, setting aside the other personality that I had seen emerge.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to imagine her as always, as the excellent person and classmate.

From inside me, projected on a mental screen, she smiled at me tenderly again and radiated that light and warmth that comforted me so much.

I held onto her image happily for a few moments, and without my realizing it, sleep overcame me.

I slept lightly and for only a few minutes; rather than me opening my eyes, they suddenly opened on their own. Without wasting any time, I got dressed to go out, determined to take my innocent walk.

As I left the room, I found my parents already up and near the door.

"Oh, there you are," my mother said. "There's someone outside."

Intrigued, I approached the door and peered through the peephole. Then I saw Kari looking to the side, with her typical serene smile on her face. The relief of seeing her well, the excitement of having her close again, and the surprise of her showing up at my house without notice converged in my heart.

"It's a girl," my mother said, with a touch of disbelief.

"And how pretty she is!" exclaimed my father. "Is she your girlfriend?"

I looked at him and shook my head in response, my face showing nothing but astonishment.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go with her."

"Good luck, buddy."

I hesitated for a second, but then I put my hand on the doorknob and turned it.

"Take care!"

I stepped out onto the doorstep. Kari was waiting for me. She looked radiant, serene, and happy, as usual. There were no physical or mental signs of anything that had happened the night before. She had changed her clothes: she was wearing a knee-length dress, a lightweight jacket to keep warm, and a pair of sandals. A large flower-shaped brooch adorned her hair on one side. Her outfit was a casual, informal style with a touch of elegance that suited her very well.

She was more beautiful than any memory or imagination I could have had.

"Kari..." I murmured, and I think my lips moved to try to smile.

"Good morning, Sanke!" she said, as cheerful as ever. "Would you like to talk for a moment?"

"Yes, of course," I managed to reply, surprised. Every aspect of the situation was unexpected to me.

We left the threshold and began to walk leisurely along the sidewalk, without a fixed destination.

"Ah..." sighed Kari, "what a beautiful day."

She turned her gaze towards me, towards the clothes I was wearing.

"Were you heading out?"

"Me? No... Well, I felt like going out for a walk."

"Then I arrived just in time. If I had come a minute later, maybe I wouldn't have found you."

"I suppose."

We turned the corner.

"The weather today is nothing like yesterday," Kari affirmed, still gazing at the clear sky. "Yesterday it was cloudy all day. I think it even rained."

Her last sentence puzzled me a little. Could it be that she didn't remember the rain or anything from the previous night?

"It rained last night," I said.

I paused.

"Last night... some very unsettling things happened too."

Kari kept her eyes on the sky.

"Oh... I do think I remember it raining."

"Kari..."

She took three slow steps, then stopped. I did too, so we stood face to face. Kari looked down for a moment, pondering a thought; then she lifted her gaze and directed it to my eyes.

"Sanke, I can explain everything... what you saw. But..." and she lowered her gaze again, "you have to understand that it's very difficult for me to talk about these things."

The gravity in her words pressed on my heart. Unintentionally, I had been abrupt with her; I had touched a very sensitive nerve within her.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't worry!" exclaimed Kari, suddenly regaining some of her usual cheerfulness. "It's okay, really."

"I didn't want you to feel pressured."

Kari only maintained a modest smile in response. We slowly resumed our walk.

"So, where are we going?" she asked after a few steps.

"I don't know, where were you going?"

"I don't know, I was following you," she replied, and chuckled a little.

"So... do you have plans for today?" I ventured to ask.

"Yes, today I have volunteer work."

"How interesting. And what do you do as a volunteer?"

"Today, I'll be participating in an awareness campaign about blood donation. Maybe you've heard of the 'A Drop of Life' campaign."

"No, not really."

"Exactly! There's not enough awareness in the public about blood donation."

"In that case, I think I'll go to the hospital to donate blood," I said, not entirely seriously.

"That would be very good! The more people donate, the better! Even if my idea didn't get approved..."

"What idea?"

"Well... Don't laugh, but I proposed to the hospital director to incentivize blood donation with gifts, like a limited-edition poster of Merilia Carmine, or a stuffed animal for the younger ones."

"Merilia...?"

"Yes, you know Merilia, right?" she asked, with an expressionless face.

She didn't wait for an answer from me to continue:

"But the director didn't want to promote blood donation with the image of a vampire..."

When she mentioned that Merilia was a vampire, I knew who she was referring to.

"Merilia and Flanse... Flanders..." I stammered, trying to remember the name of the Carmine sisters.

"Frandel," the cheerful girl corrected me, "not Flanders."

"Yes, whatever. I think it would have been too expensive for the hospital."

"Eh, posters aren't that expensive," she said, and I thought I detected a hint of bitter naivety in her voice, "especially if you buy in bulk..."

We crossed the street.

"What time do you have to be at the hospital? There's a place I like to go."

"Which one?"

"The grove. Do you know it?"

"Of course, it's a very nice place. Well, let's go," she added cheerfully, "I still have some free time before I leave."

The grove was by far the nicest spot in the whole suburb, and it wasn't far from my house. In its westernmost part, it connects to the riverbank. The grove and the riverside promenade were the most popular places on weekends.

"I want to ask you something."

Kari raised her eyebrows and tilted her head in surprise.

"How did you know where I live?"

Kari chuckled.

"Haha! Well, as the president of the Council, I have access to information about the students."

"I see..."

"Oh, that sounded like I'm a stalker, didn't it?"

"What? No, not really."

"That's good," she said, relieved, with a modest smile, "I don't do scary th..."

She abruptly interrupted her sentence. It was obvious that she couldn't make a joke like that innocently, even if it were true. I had discovered that she was perhaps capable of doing much worse things than finding out someone's address, and therefore, she couldn't pretend in front of me that she was always the adorable and perfect girl we all knew. She even had to avert her gaze for a brief moment.

"It's not that it bothered me. It's just that I was surprised," I said, trying to divert her from any negative thoughts she might have been having.

"Yes, I understand," she said, and smiled again faintly. "It was an unexpected visit."

"Exactly."

We walked a long stretch in silence, trying to conceal the discomfort of the moment, shifting our gaze to the clouds, to the balconies that overlooked the neighborhood's heights, or to any small thing that might try to grab our attention. Then we reached our destination. The main entrance to the grove, which provided access to the park through a gravel path, was on the other side of the avenue.

"Do you come here often?" Kari asked me.

"More or less. I used to come more frequently, with my friends."

We sat on the first empty bench we found, facing one of the avenues that bordered the grove. The lush trees behind us provided ample shade and coolness. The scent of grass dominated the air we breathed. On one side, the vehicles rushing down the avenue at high speed, and on the other, the birds flying over the treetops or darting like brown or reddish arrows from branch to branch, shaped the background noise with such disparate instruments. It could be said that it was still early, as there were very few people around.

A part of me hoped—and I even felt eager about it—that Kari would start explaining at any moment what was happening with her and her terrible actions in the alley behind her house. But at the same time, another part of me simply wanted to forget it all and continue seeing Kari as the cheerful girl, as the sweet, charismatic, and kind schoolmate I had fallen in love with.

More superficially, however, I wanted to start a casual conversation with the cheerful girl, even though the whole situation still had me somewhat confused. It was only when I sat on the cold bench in the grove that my mind managed to calm down a bit.

Fortunately, the cheerful girl helped me by being the first to speak.

"So, how's school going for you?"

"Good. This year..." I said, and looked up in an attempt to draw an answer from the sky, "it's been easy for me to pass my subjects."

"That's very good, Sanke. Congratulations."

I kindly returned her smile.

"Thank you."

I quickly added to my response:

"I don't have grades as good as yours, though."

"The important thing is that you're doing well," the cheerful girl replied, "don't you think?"

"Of course. And... do you already know what you'll do after finishing school? You'll probably go to college, right?"

"That's right. I'd like to get into the Medical School."

"Fantastic," I opined, marveling.

The vocation of being a doctor suited the cheerful girl very well; it fit her personality perfectly. It wouldn't have been difficult at all for me to imagine her as a renowned doctor who worked nobly every day to ease the suffering of the sick and save lives in peril.

I hadn't thought then that hospitals were also where people die.

No, instead, I simply let myself be carried away by the calm and harmless conversation that the cheerful girl and I were having. Once again, I felt a naturalness in the atmosphere, in our actions, in the situation in general that, from a certain point of view, didn't correspond, shouldn't have been like this.

"And what about you? Will you go to college too?"

"Me? Well... I'm not sure. I think I'd like to be a teacher."

"Wow! I had no idea, Sanke. So, you like teaching?"

She had reasons to react like that, given that I had never told her or anyone else.

"Yes, I don't know if it's really my thing, but I think I'd do well."

"You'll definitely do well!" she exclaimed cheerfully. "You just have to be convinced that you can do it. What subject do you like?"

"History."

"Oh..." the cheerful girl exclaimed, with some astonishment, but also with admiration, a reaction I wasn't accustomed to at all. "Have you ever thought about being a tutor? It could serve as practice."

"Not really."

I had never considered myself worthy of offering tutoring, but more importantly, I had never been too interested in it. However, I did help my friends whenever we held our study meetings. I was good at explaining concepts when I understood them, generally scored better than them, and it made me feel useful. That's why I liked it, to be honest.

"Well, if you want to give it a try, you can always join the tutoring program. Any help is welcome."

"You know what? Maybe I will," I affirmed, motivated by the invitation. "I study with my friends, and we help each other, but I think I could help others too."

"Of course," the cheerful girl said, smiling with her eyes closed, and added, "whenever you want, come talk to me, and we'll include you in the next tutoring session."

Suddenly, my phone began to ring. I hurried to take it out of my pants pocket, as if I needed to silence an annoying and untimely alarm.

I hesitated for a second before answering.

"Hello?"

"Ah, there you are," a voice on the other end of the line said with a sigh of relief. "I've been texting you, why haven't you been responding to the messages?"

"Oh, Kire, sorry, I didn't realize," I replied somewhat nervously. "Besides," I quickly glanced at the cheerful girl, who pretended to be distracted, "I'm not at home right now."

"But you're okay, right? I got a little scared last night. The look on your face was so... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."

"It's okay, Kire, don't worry."

"Alright... So, where are you now? Don't forget what you promised, okay?"

"I haven't forgotten," I replied, starting to wish to end the conversation so as not to keep the cheerful girl waiting. "I'll come to your house today."

"Great! We'll be waiting for you."

"Yeah, goodbye, Kire."

As soon as I ended the call, the cheerful girl looked at me again.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, it was my cousin. We agreed that I'll go to her house today."

"That's great!" exclaimed the cheerful girl, smiling. "Sounds like a good plan."

I noticed the message notifications from Kire on my phone's screen before putting it back in my pocket.

"I haven't seen my aunt and uncle in a while."

"Do they live far away?"

"No, in the I* neighborhood; it's not too far if I take the train."

"It's always good to see your family," said the cheerful girl. Then, she glanced at her cell phone's clock. "Well, it's about time for me to go."

She stood up while I began to regret having so little time to spend with her. A few seconds passed, during which the cheerful girl remained still, until I followed suit.

"Do you want me to walk with you?"

"No need, Sanke, thanks. I'll take a taxi."

We set off, me concealing my disappointment with a fake smile of reassurance. The cheerful girl looked around at the trees, broke her silence with a soft sigh, and affirmed:

"I had forgotten how pleasant this place is."

A fleeting thought crossed my mind. Could it be that she, like me a few hours earlier, needed a moment of calm for her spirit after what had happened the night before?

Without a second thought, and using it as an excuse to extend my time with the cheerful girl for at least a moment longer, I suggested:

"Don't you want to come in and walk around a bit? Or is it getting too late for you?"

"No, it's not late... Alright, let's go."

We retraced our steps toward the main entrance.

The pathways weaving through the grove were narrow and winding, devoid of straight lines. At each bend, on either side of the path, beneath the canopies of evergreen trees, rustic wooden benches, not very large, designed for two or three people, were scattered. Several stretches remained shrouded in shadows all day due to the tall tree canopies forming immense, majestic vegetal arches that not only reduced the amount of sunlight but also cooled the air and concentrated the ambient humidity and the scent of fresh grass.

For a few moments, the only sounds we emitted were the echoes of our footsteps on the gravel path, quickly drowned out by the chirps and flutters of the park's birds. At least our silence was not an uncomfortable one. Eventually, the trail led us to the edge of a small clearing at one end of the grove, from which the river that ran through the city could be seen. Even though I didn't see it, knowing it was there in the distance, I wanted to take the cheerful girl to the park on the other side of the river—a more suitable place for a date or, let's say, the kind of "encounter" we were having. But when I glanced at the cheerful girl's face, bathed in sunlight without the interference of tree branches, I noticed signs of fatigue—subtle but discernible.

If she was tired, she had been making enough effort to conceal it.

"Well, Sanke," Kari said, halting her stride.

She had her head inclined forward, and she either didn't want to look at me or couldn't. We stopped.

"I've come to see you today because... well, I'm sorry about what happened last night."

She turned towards me and raised her gaze, but she couldn't avoid hiding it from me soon, thus avoiding looking into my eyes. Then, she looked down at the pebbles on the ground.

"You weren't supposed to be there..."

The words came out of her mouth slowly, at the cost of great effort.

Finally, she mustered the courage to look at me directly.

"In any case, I want to ask you not to talk to anyone about what you saw."

"Okay," I managed to respond.

The situation, Kari's serious expression, her unfamiliar demeanor—devoid of cheer, smiles, or a twinkle in her eyes, her voice devoid of sweetness—unsettled me. I wanted to explore this darker side of her, yet at the same time, I feared touching another sensitive nerve and triggering a reaction that would make her flee from me.

"I trust you haven't talked about this with anyone yet, or have you?" she asked in a very serious tone.

"I haven’t, Kari."

She took a couple of steps, averted her gaze from me, and then said in a calm and, above all, very clear voice:

"It's better that way."

Then she resumed walking slowly, leaving me behind. It took me a moment to react, but I decided to take the risk and not hesitate any longer. I ran ahead and stood in her way.

"Kari, it's okay. If you don't want me to talk, I won't, but... I can't pretend that nothing happened, that everything is fine."

"I'm not asking you to," she replied with indifference, still refusing to meet my gaze.

She tried to continue walking, but I continued to block her path and even placed my hands on her forearms to make sure she stopped.

"But I care, I care about you," my words flowed from within me on their own, without my having a chance to choose them; a fire burned in my chest, consuming the oxygen from my lungs. "I always wanted to get to know you, and now... I don't know what's happening... I just need to know that you'll be okay. If you have any problem, no matter what it is, I'll help you, count on me, but I want to know about it."

As I spoke these words, which made me blush instantly upon hearing them myself, I felt the pressure on my arms lessen and then disappear. Kari had her gaze fixed ahead, above my left shoulder; she gave a timid smile that vanished too quickly; for a second, her lips parted ever so slightly, perhaps preparing to say something; however, she soon started breathing heavily and erratically, while some muscles in her face tensed. The sound of her breathing was the only thing that could be heard; the birds had fallen silent and were attentively observing us from their hiding places among the foliage.

Without uttering a word, I placed my hand once more on her forearm, that soft and tender forearm I now yearned to caress. Before I dared to do so, Kari said to me, "I’m running late, Sanke."

This time, she continued on her way without my opposition.

"Kari."

She stopped.

I stood by her side.

I didn't know if my heart was racing at an incredibly fast pace or if, on the contrary, it had stopped, unable to withstand the tension of the moment. There was more adrenaline than blood running through my veins, and my legs felt weak, but somehow I managed to remain standing.

"Kari, if you have nothing to do tomorrow... let's meet again."

Kari fell silent. Expectation was at its peak, and my heart suddenly hung by a thread. A nervous twitch of her lips revealed indecision, or perhaps just surprise.

She turned her head slightly to look into my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I can't," she said emotionlessly, though trying to be tactful. "I have to go now. Goodbye, Sanke."

Kari left swiftly. At the end of the trail, she would find one of the exits from the grove. As for me, I became aware that I was breathing, as if one momentarily stops breathing; my legs tingled, so I decided to sit on the nearest bench and rest. Rarely had my body and mind experienced such tension. I reclined against the bench's backrest; the birds resumed their chirping and frolicking, flapping their wings, flying here and there, and a breeze swept past me, swaying the leaves and grass. The noisy vehicles on the avenue a few meters away also resumed their journey.

I spent a few minutes catching my breath before heading back home.

As soon as they heard me cross the threshold and open the door, my parents abandoned whatever they had been doing and came to greet me.

"Sanke! You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend."

"But what happened? You came back so quickly."

"I don't have a girlfriend," I said.

"I thought you were taking her somewhere... or do you not have any money?" my mother inquired, then turned to my father and asked in an almost reprimanding tone, "Haven't you given him any money for his date?"

"Mom..."

"Oh, well, I can give you some money," my father said nonchalantly, pulling his wallet from his pocket. "Whatever you need."

He pulled out a wad of bills without even counting them and handed them to me, saying:

"Take her to a nice restaurant. Spare no expense, understand? Especially if it's your first date."

"Oh!" my mother exclaimed and sighed affectionately.

I took the money timidly, not wanting to put it in my pocket, as if it weren't mine yet, as if I couldn't accept that I had a right to it. My father patted my shoulder, a broad smile on his face.

"She's not my girlfriend. She's a schoolmate," I insisted, but my parents didn't want to listen.

"Oh," my mother sighed once more.

"Speaking of eating, today I'm going to Aunt Laina's house," I announced, attempting to change the subject to reduce the heat in my cheeks.

"Alright."

"Why don't we all go?" my mother suggested.

I went to my room, and the first thing I did was take off my jacket and collapse onto my bed. The bills were folded in half—just as my father had handed them to me—on the nightstand.

I buried my arms under the pillow. Like earlier that day, the situation had left me somewhat dazed, and I needed to calm my mind. Varied and disparate sensations mixed within me, denying me the desired tranquility.

To begin with, although a part of me wanted to ignore the existence of the girl in the white dress, I couldn't dissociate her from the image I held internally of the cheerful girl. I couldn't—still found it difficult to believe—accept that the Student Council President, the exemplary girl, the diligent student, so mature for her age, so self-assured, so kind, reliable, and cheerful, was at the same time a fragile being—perhaps even physically weak, judging by her strange discomfort the previous day, insecure, whom I pitied without quite understanding why, and who even moved me to tenderness to some extent.

And that, simultaneously, she possessed a sinister side, completely illogical, which she was trying to hide from me.

I couldn't and shouldn't evade this reality, no matter how unsettling or difficult to accept it was. I had to face the facts. That's partly why I had invited Kari to go out, because it was the only way I could secure an opportunity to learn more about her.

But she had said no.

Those thoughts had troubled me on the way back from the grove, to the extent that, before entering my room, upon hearing what my parents had said, I felt a momentary and strange urge to slam the door. "You should talk to him about these topics"; "Yes, I had no idea he had a girlfriend." However, a few seconds later, as my jacket fell to the floor like the leaves outside, I calmed down and reasoned that my parents' reaction was actually to be expected: they were pleasantly surprised—they were the ones who were happy and euphoric—that their son, that high school student who spent long hours in his room and only hung out with his few friends—all of them boys—was suddenly seen with girls and going on dates. Well, there was some truth to what they believed, but not about the dates.

I recalled the words I had said to Kari in the grove, and I found them true to each one. I was concerned about her. I wanted to get to know her better. I wished to save her from any danger she might have been exposed to, and had I known her situation, I would have already started fantasizing about how to do it, lying in bed, with the pillow between my arms.

Although, on the other hand, it could be said that I had already saved her once.

But she had said no.

After lying there for a good few minutes, I realized I didn't feel like going to Aunt Laina's house.

While a lively conversation—too lively for my taste—was taking place in the living room, I slipped out of the house. I left the door slightly ajar; because of that, the exclamations and cheerful laughter could be clearly heard from the sidewalk. Now it was cloudy, it had cooled down, and at times, a cold wind blew.

Kire sat on the ground, next to the curb. I followed suit. Unlike me, she had bundled up; she had buttoned her jacket up to the top and constantly covered her mouth with it, as if it were winter cold, only to uncover it seconds later, always keeping her hands hidden inside the sleeves.

"I still don't know what happened to you yesterday," she said, disguising a reproach in her tone while also seeming to seek explanations, "but I'm glad you're okay."

"It was nothing. I think I was just really tired."

"Hmm..." Kire murmured, thoughtful. Then she blurted out, innocently, "Was it because of a girl, perhaps?"

"Eh?!"

"Well, that's what they're saying," and with a backward nod of her head, she indicated the house. "That you have a girlfriend 'or something like that.'"

"I told them it's not my girlfriend. She's just a schoolmate."

"Yes, you’ve already said that too. So, was that why you were acting so strangely yesterday?"

"How was I acting strangely?" I asked, pretending not to understand what she meant and shifting my gaze slightly.

"Yes! You came here yesterday 'to say hello,' but you didn't even come inside. My mom was hoping to see you..."

Against those words, I couldn't come up with a convincing response. Kire continued speaking after a pause of a couple of seconds, during which she assumed a contemplative expression again:

"It was really strange that you came at night, without notice," she said with suspicion. "And you left very quickly too. Did you go to see her?"

I suddenly became uneasy. I felt as though she knew what was happening to me, but no, it was that, despite her young age—only a couple of years younger than me, she could already deduce or formulate hypotheses about events around her—events that involved me.

I articulated a nervous chuckle and said, "What are you talking about? I didn't go..."

Showing perhaps some dissatisfaction with my attempted response, Kire stretched her legs before pulling them back and crossing her arms on top of her knees. It didn't take long for her to break the silence again—the silence I couldn't decide whether to drown out until my nervousness passed or end it completely by changing the topic of conversation.

"Yesterday I mentioned my schoolmate... Are you still interested in the topic?"

"Yes, I'm rather curious. I've been thinking... why would someone disappear suddenly, without notice?"

"They could have been kidnapped," Kire said, "but I don't think that's the case. I think it has to do with what my schoolmate said, remember? Her grandfather was depressed. Maybe he just decided..."

She didn't finish her sentence, and there was no need to. I understood that she was referring to the possibility that the man might have taken his own life, something I hadn't considered.

"Now," Kire continued, "why my schoolmate's grandfather was depressed is something I don't know. Obviously, she didn't tell me the whole story."

No, I had suddenly entertained another idea, or rather, a hunch.

That the schoolmate's grandfather had disappeared just like the young worker and the woman with the torn arm in the alley behind the house...

The moment that thought first came to me, I quickly wanted to dismiss it as a mere coincidence, telling myself that the matter of the old man had nothing to do with the deaths in the alley. At the same time, though, I couldn't help but see a resemblance in the situation to the stories I occasionally read—those of the "a creature or entity comes to a town and spreads terror until someone confronts it" type. Of course, there didn't seem to be any terror in the city or in Kari's neighborhood; otherwise, the deaths in the alley would have been reported in the news or in the newspapers. No, on the contrary, perhaps only I had noticed that something was wrong in that corner of the city.

"And what do you think?" Kire asked.

"If he had decided... you know, to take his own life, wouldn't the police have found him by now, do you think? Who knows," I added, hopefully, "maybe they had a family problem, and he decided to get away..."

"It's possible. We can only hope the man shows up safe and sound, or that the police have some news."

It must be said (and I thought it at that moment, although I didn't say it) that in those stories I mentioned earlier, the police never show up to solve the problem, and it's always a hero who confronts the creature.

Of course, I had no intentions of being a hero, and I only trusted that if I could convince Kari, little by little, I would unravel her mystery.

Of course, I didn't consider at the time that by trying to do so, I might be putting myself in danger.

Return to index

Chapter 10

The following day was much like the previous one, only far less exciting, and therefore, extremely dull. I spent long stretches in bed, alternating between periods of sleep and deep contemplation, both of equal duration. In a similar vein, I found myself torn between a lukewarm optimism about getting closer to Kari and a desire to resign from the idea of approaching her and let her continue with her mysterious hidden life, the one I was supposed to forget, according to her words.

The first option seemed dubious in terms of achievement, but the latter was frankly unacceptable, and that's why I was determined to ignore her request.

The day passed by quickly, and before I knew it, I was getting up to go to class. As expected, Kari attended school too. We didn't exchange a word, not even a casual glance.

That day, suddenly, I felt that, contrary to physical and material reality, an immense distance separated my desk from Kari's. Yes, I could see her sitting there up front, as always, but she seemed more distant than it appeared, like a mountain on the horizon. It was because I didn't see her the same way anymore.

The bell rang loudly, announcing that it was time to go home. It could be said that the whole class was relieved, including the teacher, who had spent the last ten minutes speaking slowly and wearily, repeating explanations of physical formulas, clearly just killing time while remaining professional. In contrast, I stood up mechanically, packed my belongings into my backpack, and slowly made my way to the door.

"Hey, aren't you waiting for us?" Kazu asked from his seat.

I shook my head and said, "I have to go somewhere else first."

My demeanor and the way I spoke those words must have shown seriousness or even gravity because my friends simply stared at me, silently accepting my refusal.

As I passed by the front rows, I saw Kari—still seated—bringing a hand to her face while holding a sheet of paper with the other, saying to her friends, "I forgot to photocopy the meeting schedule! Well, I'll go make copies," and addressing Aira, she added, "You go to the room and tell them to wait for me."

Aira nodded with the firmness of a soldier—she only needed to salute, loudly and clearly say "Yes, ma'am!" and march away quickly—and hurried off, brushing past those of us leaving the classroom.

"Of course, today is Monday," I thought. "Today, there's a Student Council meeting."

Every other Monday, after school hours, the Student Council met, which meant that Kari and Aira had to stay at school and attend.

Outside the classroom, I started walking in the opposite direction of the exit, towards the bathrooms at the other end of the corridor, against the stream of students leaving. Meanwhile, Kari waited for her copies with her forearms resting on the school supply store counter.

"I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier. Maybe everything would be very different now."

I went out into the courtyard through the last of the access doors. I took a few steps with my legs stretched to relieve the tension building up in them and to disguise the familiar and impending tremor. My head was tilted forward, as if lost in thought, but in my case, my head was so full of thoughts that I wasn't really thinking about anything.

Then, the unmistakable click of the latch on the door I had just exited interrupted whatever I was doing, whatever it was. Just as I had anticipated, Kari was going to cross the courtyard, taking the shortest route to the room where the Council met. She was coming toward me with a bundle of papers pressed against her chest.

As soon as she noticed my solitary and mysterious presence, she gave me a courtesy smile that didn't last very long, however. She didn't look as cheerful or innocent anymore. Her eyes didn't shine, and consequently, they didn't exhibit the vivacity that characterized them. Moreover, judging by the fact that they weren't as wide open, one could say that they were tired. And yet, it was she who asked me:

"Are you okay, Sanke?"

"Yes..." I replied, unable to avoid a hint of doubt in my voice.

It's not surprising, therefore, that Kari was not convinced by my response; she opened her mouth to say something, but I preempted her intentions and said decisively,

"I'm fine."

Suddenly, in less than a second, all the tension, all the nervousness that had gripped me was released at once.

"It's just that," and now my inner self spoke for me, "I love you, Kari."

I lowered my head.

"And I want you to go out with me."

Only when I spoke these words did I feel the strength to raise my gaze and await a response.

Kari had her face turned halfway to the side, a mixture of nervousness and embarrassment playing on her features, her mouth hidden behind the photocopies.

"I don't know what to say," she said softly.

I couldn't find words either. My heart was in suspense.

"Sanke, you shouldn't be interested in me," Kari finally said, with the same softness and delicacy in her voice, but also with a touch of sadness, her gaze falling a few meters behind my back. "You know I have my... issues, and well..."

"But," I interrupted, "I don't care."

Kari blushed.

"What are you saying?" she said incredulously, her voice barely audible, looking at me for a second with wide-open eyes.

"I don't know why, but... I don't care. It's what I feel... that I love you just the same."

I placed a hand on hers and managed to pry it away from the papers. Kari responded by lowering her gaze again and letting a fleeting bitter smile form on her face.

"Sanke, please," she said, and delicately removed my hand, almost afraid it might fall and crash to the ground. "I think you're getting confused. You should think about it a bit..."

It was my turn to smile bitterly and shake my head.

"I don't want to think about it anymore."

Only then did I notice that Kari's face had flushed, getting red and hot like ember, her eyes beginning to well up, and her pupils trembling.

"So, please, go out with me," I insisted, more like a plea than a request.

And again, the latch was drawn with a loud click as the same door we had exited to the courtyard swung open. We turned to it immediately.

"President!" Aira exclaimed, and in two athlete's strides, she was by our side. "Here you are, President."

She directed a suspicious look at me, realizing that something was amiss, that we were quiet, and that Kari had even taken a while to acknowledge her presence.

"Is something wrong?" Aira asked.

"Sanke... I think he's not feeling very well," Kari explained. "Could you accompany him to the infirmary for a check-up?"

Aira glanced at me once more, this time with curiosity and surprise at the unexpected turn of events before responding, "Yes, President."

"I'm going to the meeting," Kari announced and then turned to me. "I hope you get well, Sanke."

And she hurried away.

"You guys start without me!" Aira exclaimed before Kari disappeared behind the door. "I hate being back home late," she added with a sigh.

She remembered I was beside her, turned to me, and inquired without the friendliest manners, "And what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I replied curtly.

"I don't believe you. Let's go to the infirmary."

Pinching the sleeve of my shirt, she led me down the corridor, which was now completely empty. We had only covered a few meters when I decided to shake her off.

"I'm fine. You can go."

Aira stood in front of me and stared into my eyes, examining me in some way.

"Are you sure?" she asked, her tone indicating she didn't believe me.

I stepped aside and continued on my way to the exit. The infirmary was in the same direction, but it was accessed through a side corridor before reaching the vestibule.

"I'm fine," I repeated.

Except I wasn't.

Aira walked alongside me.

"I told the President that I would take you to the infirmary," she said.

"But I'm fine, nothing's wrong with me," I insisted, growing somewhat annoyed.

Let me reiterate: I wasn't fine. I had taken Kari's strange evasive attempts as rejection, which had caused a wound from which disappointment, frustration, and despair oozed. It's the feeling one experiences when they open their heart and offer their feelings, only to find that they're not reciprocated. That feeling of being rejected, treated as a worthless trinket, not accepted, dismissed. In the state I was in, the last thing I wanted was to deal with Aira and her peculiar way of treating me.

"How stubborn! Let's see what the nurse thinks."

She tried to grab my shirt sleeve again, but I eluded her with a swift movement of my arm. And at that inopportune moment, the weakness of my spirit overcame me: I took a step back and sat on the floor, leaning against the wall.

"Sanke! What's wrong with you?" Aira exclaimed, kneeling in front of me. "Are you sick?"

I didn't respond. Aira inspected my face with a worried expression and placed her hand on my forehead to check if I had a fever. I don't know if it was that or something else that made me muster a weak and fleeting smile, devoid of energy.

"What's so funny? Oh no, you're delirious. I'll go get the nurse."

She ran off, and in the blink of an eye, she was heading down the side corridor, finally leaving me alone with my dark thoughts. I stood up without hurry, determined to leave. Almost immediately, Aira reappeared.

"The nurse is gone. She's already left."

Then she noticed the small detail that I was already leaving.

"What are you doing standing? Sit down. I'm going to..."

"I'm telling you I'm fine, see?" I said, making an effort to put on the face of a healthy young man and cheerfully extending an arm and a leg.

"Alright, walk over there and come back," she ordered, pointing toward the door of our classroom.

I gladly obeyed, taking four steps while smiling cheekily and flexing my arms like a cartoon character, and then returned in the same manner.

Indignation transformed Aira's expression.

"You treacherous little rat," she muttered. "What were you trying to achieve with your stupid performance?" She thought for a moment. "You're not plotting something strange, are you? Come to think of it... the President has been acting strange today, and so have you. What's going on?"

"Nothing," I replied. "Go to the meeting, don't waste any more time."

"Yeah, I'm leaving," she said, still narrowing her eyes. "And you go home. You almost made me worry about you."

She turned away, shaking her head in annoyance and fury, muttering under her breath:

"I don't understand..."

And she stomped away, her feet acting as two hammers, destroying the tiles beneath her. I finally set off as well.

The whole scene struck me as humorous, but not funny enough to make me laugh.

Before entering the vestibule, I glanced back one last time.

"Go home!" Aira roared from the other end of the corridor. Then she rushed out to the courtyard.

Once outside the school, I started walking down the same street as always, with no particular thought in my mind. Everything looked the same as usual, even though I paid no attention to my surroundings. It was me who was different, so to speak. Knowing myself, I knew that what I needed was a good night's sleep.

Or was it?

Homework could wait.

But what I wanted to tell was something else.

Standing at the bus stop, about to board, I glanced at my phone to check the time. A text message appeared on the screen, one I hadn't noticed before.

"I'll be waiting for you at the corner of S* Street and H* Street in half an hour," it read.

The message was none other than from Kari; I had saved her number on the day of the athletics tournament when she had called me for my clumsy lateness.

Those simple words on the cold screen left me so dumbfounded that the people behind me in the queue got annoyed because my immobility was preventing them from getting on the bus. Finally, I stepped aside and retraced my steps without hesitation, even though I didn't know the reason for the message, starting to wait for her.

The corner mentioned by Kari was close to the school. As expected, the sidewalks in the area were filled with students heading back home, some faster than others, some staying behind to socialize in small groups. And as time passed, the streets emptied, becoming practically deserted and silent. It might as well have been me as the last inhabitant of the city.

My senses were on alert. What could be happening with Kari?

I couldn't stop trying to imagine Kari's possible motivations, and of all the scenarios my mind presented to me and all the speculations I could concoct from what little I really knew about her, none convinced me.

I had to wait for Kari to appear to find out.

And she did appear, of course. While I struggled to feign calm or normality in my actions and not to look in all directions from which I could spot Kari, she emerged from beneath the well-populated canopy of a nearby tree—first her legs, then her torso, and finally her face—advancing toward me in perfect calm. Her appearance had much of an angelic quality to it, judging by her serene smile and the characteristic glow that enveloped her. The rays cast by the setting sun on the horizon behind me bathed her in orange light.

All the thoughts in my mind and all the concerns within me suddenly scattered in all directions, fleeing from me.

"Hello again, Kari," I said.

"Hello again, Sanke."

She came a little closer to me and continued, "I'm sorry for making you wait."

"Don't worry."

"And I'm sorry if you had something to do now."

There was a two-second pause before she asked, "Did you have plans?"

"No."

"Really?"

I nodded, mustering the courage to smile. Kari didn't look nervous or serious, and that reassured me.

"That's good... It's just that... today you asked me if I wanted to go out with you, and I... I don't think I'll have time to go out, but I thought you might like to accompany me today. What do you say?"

I think my jaw must have dropped, but still, I managed to respond, "Of course!"

I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't believe it. If an alarm clock had interrupted the moment, separating us inexorably, casting Kari into the abyss of memories, I would have understood.

No alarm clock rang.

It's incredible how everything can change in a matter of seconds. What I least expected was an invitation to a date... or something like that.

Could it be that she did want to go out with me after all, despite the "issues" she had mentioned herself?

Kari smiled tenderly for a second, and then she set off with me by her side, all in peaceful silence, where any words would have been superfluous.

However, from the beginning, it didn't feel like a date at all. We were just walking side by side, like two companions returning from school together. There was no particular atmosphere surrounding us, and no subtle cosmic energy magnetizing us. I soon began to think that I had made vain illusions and that my expectations of what might happen between the cheerful girl and me were being mercilessly mocked by the unfolding events. I hoped, instead, that she would finally decide to tell me about her mysterious secret life.

"Are we going to your house or where?" I asked.

Kari shook her head.

She looked happy, but I couldn't tell if it was her natural joy or if there was another reason. Either way, she was definitely not "acting strange," as Aira had told me at school.

But it wasn't the time to bring Aira to mind (and probably no time was ideal for that).

Although, to be honest, there was something "strange," and that was that Kari had sent me that text message.

But I wasn't complaining, of course.

"Where would you like to go?" she asked me.

"Me? Well, would you like to have a coffee?"

"Of course," Kari replied sweetly. "Whatever you want, Sanke."

Anyone would be happy, excited, or hopeful to go out with a girl—and even more so if it were the cheerful girl. But in my case, there was no reason to be so animated. I repeat, it didn't feel like a date, no matter that Kari had asked to see me alone. I briefly remembered the unidentified shadows...

I had the lucidity to decide that it was best to go with the flow, follow the situation, until I had a clear understanding of what was happening, and whether she could reciprocate my feelings, or if, on the contrary, she was just being kind to me out of pity.

"And... how was the campaign on Saturday?" I asked, just to break the silence that was causing me anxiety, and to avoid getting lost in my thoughts.

"Very good!" Kari responded enthusiastically, contrasting with her calm demeanor up to that point. "Everything went well. Did you donate blood?"

I was tempted to say yes, but the compulsion to be honest and admit took over instead: "No... I didn't go."

"Oh, that's okay, if you want to give 'a drop of life,' you can go to the hospital any day."

"Yes, I'll do that!" I exclaimed, and before I finished, I was already thinking that I had sounded somewhat clumsy, that the cheerful girl smiled in what I judged to be politeness, and looked away.

With unusual speed for me, I thought to add, "Although I know it's not just 'a drop' that they take. I've seen that they take liters and liters of blood..."

The cheerful girl gave my arm a gentle pat. "Don't be silly," she said, amused. "It's just a few milliliters, nothing more."

"Well, I hope so."

"Ha, ha! And where have you seen that they take 'liters' of blood, as you say? In a movie? But you're right: it's not 'a drop,' it's more like several."

"Quite a lot of them..."

"Not too many, and the body quickly replenishes the extracted blood," Kari observed intelligently.

"Okay, I'll go when I have the time."

This time, I said it determined to keep my word.

Every now and then, I cast a sidelong glance at the cheerful girl's face, trying to make sure she was indeed tired, or convince myself that she wasn't, and that I had misinterpreted the expression I had seen earlier. But neither of those things happened.

We entered one of the cafés on the avenue.

Since I wasn't really hungry, I ordered just a coffee. I wasn't used to drinking coffee, and yet, I ordered one.

"Tell me, how was the meeting?"

"The Student Council meeting? Well, I suppose it was fine," Kari replied, without showing much emotion. "Today's was... boring, I guess."

"What do you do in the meetings? Besides steering the school's course," I asked, half-joking.

"Not much. Mainly bring up a topic for discussion or report something relevant."

"For example?"

"Anything that happens at the school, students' grades, exam dates, and tutoring..."

"So, is that where they talk badly about us?" I joked.

"No, that's in the teachers' lounge," she said, just to play along, and then added, "I'm kidding; I really don't think the teachers are capable of speaking ill of us."

"And did they talk about me? You know, because of what happened..."

I was referring to the incident in the ladies' locker room.

"No, that's something I discussed with the principal at the time."

"Thank you again for saving me."

"You're welcome, Sanke."

"I wanted to help that guy, and I ended up ruining everything."

"Don't say that. You were doing the right thing. You really are a very good person, Sanke."

"I don't know what to say. I always considered you to be 'a very good person,' always helping us, always being so kind, caring about everyone..."

Her expression instantly darkened, setting aside the charming demeanor she usually maintained.

"Me, good? I don't know if that's what you would think of me..."

My mind darkened almost as much as her face. Visions of the incidents in the alley returned to ruin the moment.

"But what I'm saying is not a lie."

Kari turned her face to the side, in a gesture of deep modesty.

"Come on, you don't have to flatter me."

"It's not that, it's just that you're a good friend and the president of the Student Council."

"It's not that difficult..."

"Aren't there a lot of responsibilities?"

Slowly, Kari raised her head again, and her expression improved significantly.

"No, not at all. You have to attend meetings, talk to the prefect, and be attentive to the needs of your classmates, but it's not difficult. Honestly, I think anyone could do it."

"Even me?"

"Of course; if you want to and put in the effort, you'll succeed."

I couldn't help but wonder how I would have fared if they had chosen me as the president of the Student Council. Kari continued:

"And, anyway, a good person isn't someone who is always doing good things. You're a good person because you don't have malice, you're always willing to help, even if no one notices it, and because you don't go through life thinking you're better than others."

Her words resonated with me. I had to admit that they were true. How did she know me so well when we had never really been close friends?

"I'm surprised you know so much about me when we were never close."

"That's because you're transparent. One can see you and know how you're doing, what you're thinking..."

Restless, I shifted in my chair.

"Oh, that sounds kind of inconvenient," I said.

"Maybe it is, for some."

"Are you saying I can't have privacy?"

"Haha!" she modestly laughed. "Of course not! Your thoughts are private, just like your feelings. It's just that, being transparent, something always ends up being seen."

"You make me feel so uncomfortable," I joked again, but there was some truth in my words.

"Haha! Don't be silly. But... did you want to be the president? I don't remember you running for the position."

"No, I said it just because. I never thought it was my thing."

"Really? Well, as I said, it's not a complicated job, and people would have gotten to know you better."

"I would be satisfied with not being hated by anyone," I said, and I could have shrugged casually.

"Why do you say that? Who could hate you?" Kari asked, suddenly flustered.

"No one," I replied, "although Aira doesn't seem to like me very much."

A smile instantly appeared on Kari's face, and without parting her lips, she burst into laughter, a reaction that surprised me greatly.

"Aira doesn't hate you, Sanke," she asserted. "She just hasn't warmed up to you yet, but I believe you two can become great friends."

Those words surprised me even more; as if we weren't talking about the same person. And besides, Kari kept smiling, on the verge of another laugh.

"Is that a joke or what?" I asked, puzzled.

"No, no," she hurried to reply. "Aira doesn't dislike you; it's just that... try to understand her. If you take a day to talk, I think you'll end up being friends."

And what she added next came out in a lower, perhaps discreet tone:

"I’d like you to be."

"I don't know," I said hesitantly. "But, getting back to the topic, you are the Student Council president, and a very good one. We all appreciate you."

"And I appreciate that very much, and it makes me happy because it means I'm doing my job well."

After leaving the café, Kari and I found ourselves on the street again. We locked eyes for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. I thought it might be time to head back, that perhaps Kari would decide that. However, it seemed she wasn't making any decisions or suggestions, probably because of the spontaneity of the invitation.

Anyway, after a brief silence, I asked somewhat timidly:

"Well, what do you want to do? Do you need to go home, or would you prefer to walk?"

"I don't know..." Kari replied, even more uncertain than I was. "What do you prefer?"

"Is it okay if we walk a bit?"

"Of course, Sanke. Whatever you like."

We started walking, and very soon, remembering part of our conversation from a few moments ago in the café, I wondered if Kari really felt something for me. The fact that she, in a way, knew me from a distance could only lead me to think that she had been observing me, and nobody observes someone just because.

Moreover, at one point, Kari began to sing with a sweet voice:

"The sun is shining every day,

The stars are winking every night..."

She hummed the next verse, and after that, continued, while I let myself be filled with a sense of tranquility:

"Make our dreams become reality, already did it..."

She sang a couple more verses before ending with:

"Believe the wonder of the universe..."

At this point, Kari chose to stop, and I felt free to finally ask, without fearing to interrupt her singing:

"What song is that?"

"You don't know it? It's a beautiful song. It makes me feel good every time I sing it."

Then she told me the name of the song, but I didn't pay attention. Once again, I was thinking about how Kari looked happy, more than just cheerful. Could it be that she was really with me because she wanted to be, and not out of pity or self-imposed obligation?

Meanwhile, we continued to walk aimlessly.

"So," I thought aloud, "technically, this is a date."

"What do you mean 'technically'? What do you mean?" She lowered her voice, embarrassed. "But yes... It's a date."

Kari's cheeks turned a rosy color, her mouth curved imperfectly, perhaps restraining a wide smile, and her eyes sparkled.

It was the first time I had seen her like this. Of course, on a normal day, which was every day, you would see her smile, greet people warmly, offer words of encouragement if someone mentioned facing any difficulty, and walk around with her energy and radiant aura. But I insist that the smile and the joy she exhibited so charmingly and sometimes so shyly at the café table and in the downtown streets were different from what you could see on an ordinary day. Another kind of happiness was driving her, making her even more beautiful. And I was privileged to be able to know that side of her, which was revealing itself to the world, emerging from a cocoon to become a butterfly with large, vibrant wings. At times, that cheerful yet centered and responsible facade she always wore would yield, and what remained was a young girl with a silly expression and uncertain movements, tender, delicate, and defenseless, like a puppy. However, if she let herself be overcome by her feeling of happiness, she quickly composed herself and returned to show her sweet, friendly, and amiable face.

Anyway, we were very close to each other, in mutual companionship but still separated. Because of the excitement I felt, it was almost impossible for me not to take her hand. That's how my fingers, more than brushing, collided with hers.

"Eh?"

"Nothing."

Kari smiled, guessing what was happening or just reading my mind.

"You wanted to...? Well, it's not that I have a problem with it, but isn't that something that a couple would do?"

I could barely say anything, stammering my words. I felt clumsy, like I was letting myself go and doing something inappropriate, something that might make Kari uncomfortable. She could easily have felt pressured or nervous. However, she was also very understanding.

"But if you want to go arm in arm, that's fine with me," she said with a smile.

I gladly offered my arm, and Kari linked hers with mine.

We decided to head to the commercial area, where there were numerous shops, starting with those in the City Market. A short bus ride brought us there.

We wandered around, walking side by side, but in reality, I was trailing behind Kari, going wherever she wanted.

By the time we reached our destination, it had started to get dark. The traffic was busy but not excessive, and well-organized too. A crowd filled the streets, crowding in front of the windows of both large department stores and small traditional shops alike. Kari was excited; apparently, being in the middle of the crowd suited her. It wasn't surprising; someone as sociable as her could only feel comfortable among so many people. Kari took at least a few seconds to stop in front of each shop window or to peer into every market stall, driven by insatiable curiosity; the garden vegetables and the tools of a hardware store seemed to interest her equally. But what caught her attention the most—by far—were the clothing and accessory stores. Kari carefully examined each garment on display, especially those worn by the mannequins. She must have been studying the shapes, fabrics, colors, seams, sizes, and other things that had always passed me by. If there was space inside a store, Kari would enter, inspect the clothing up close, touch it, and if she found something beautiful enough, she would take it off the hanger and examine it further, holding it against her body as if she were wearing it, and then she would ask me how it looked on her. When she tried on a white hat, I thought that nothing could look bad on her, and I could say that from a neutral point of view. From my not-so-neutral perspective, I was sure that Kari could wrap herself in garbage bags and still look beautiful.

She also paid special attention to the street food vendors and stalls. The wafts of steam emanating from them and drifting through the crowd awakened our appetites. Kari brought her face close to the snacks that looked the most delicious, and it was hard for her to decide on just one meal.

After taking a break to enjoy a snack, we tacitly decided to continue strolling through the city. We hadn't walked a block when Kari dragged me to a stall on the other side of the street.

"Oh, we haven't tried this!" she exclaimed, leaning in to look at a skewer with breaded and fried dumplings. "Should we get some? They're delicious!"

"Are you still hungry?"

"These are just so good... and it's been so long since I've had them," she said and, putting on puppy-dog eyes, added, "Please?"

"Sure, of course," I replied, showing that I really had no objections.

I turned to the vendor and ordered two skewers.

"You're the best!" Kari exclaimed. She was so happy that she wrapped her arms around one of mine and pulled it close to her body, resting her cheek on my shoulder. The softness of Kari's breasts captivated me. The vendor found the scene amusing; he smiled and then gave me a fleeting and approving look.

Next, we continued our walk. We veered onto a street leading to the city center.

"Ruri lives over there," Kari said, pointing ahead with her finger. "Her house is about five blocks from here. Whenever we meet at her house, we pass by the shops and see what's new."

I wondered what would happen if Ruri bumped into us and saw us on a date. And what kind of expression would Aira and Hana make if they suddenly found out that Kari and I were dating! I would have paid to see that.

The detour I mentioned earlier took us to the shopping center. We entered for a not-so-extended visit.

When you enter the shopping center, one of the first things you notice is a photo booth. Kari and I had the same idea when we saw it, especially since there was no one else in the booth, and there was no line.

After making faces in front of the camera, we exited the booth. Kari took the strip of four photos and looked at them attentively and affectionately.

"Look at my face! Ha-ha!"

Of course, my grimaces weren't as funny as Kari's, but that was the least of my concerns.

"Look how cute we look!"

We looked really good together (happy together, which was the most important thing) especially Kari.

"Let's split them, two for each of us," she said as she reached into her backpack, never letting go of the photos. She rummaged around for a moment, searching for something she eventually found: a tiny pair of scissors.

"You have everything in your backpack."

"One has to be prepared."

Kari cut the strip of photos in half, and she gave me one part. Then, she pulled out a tiny notebook, opened it to a blank page, and said:

"To make sure they don't get lost or wrinkled, I'll keep my photos in here."

She took a paperclip and attached the photos to one of the pages, then carefully placed the little notebook back in her backpack.

I did something similar, but I chose to put my pair of photos between the pages of a notebook.

"And now, where would you like to go?" she asked me.

Return to index

Chapter 11

The riverbank promenade stretches for several kilometers, reaching the northernmost end of the grove. On one of its banks, there's a beautiful park where people from all over the city gather on weekends. On some nights, they also have light shows along the riverbanks or fireworks on holidays. It's by far the most beautiful place in the city. If there was anything missing from our date, it was a visit to the riverbank, as many other couples often do. Besides, the sun was slowly and steadily setting, and soon we would have no choice but to return to our respective homes. In my mind, spending the last moments of the day by the river would be the perfect ending to our date. I had even started to fantasize briefly about what might happen between us.

We reached the river, where its width in that part of the city was at its maximum. Its course remained constant thanks to an embankment. A concrete and metal fence separated the river from the path that ran alongside it, the one Kari and I were walking on to reach the park.

Above the river and its banks, a strong, intermittent wind blew, making us feel cold. I wasn't dressed warmly, and neither was Kari, except for the jacket we had on since school; Kari's legs were exposed, and her skirt and hair fluttered violently whenever a gust swept over us. We quickened our pace towards our destination.

Arriving at the park, instead of entering it right away, we lingered by the riverside for a while. At that hour, on a workday, and as was usual from my experience, few benches in the park were occupied. The fresh air smelled of grass and dampness. Kari gazed at the trees, sometimes looking up with an expression of wonder and using the tip of a finger to caress a leaf hanging from a nearby branch. And if she wanted to draw my attention to something specific, she would tug at my arm with a playful movement of her own. Her constant good humor and energy was contagious, and brought me comfort. At that moment, I wasn't aware that I was living a perfect day, something I hadn't even dared to imagine.

"I once thought I saw a possum at the base of a tree, among the grass," she said in the meantime.

"A possum? That's strange."

"Yes, maybe I was wrong, but at that moment, I believed it. It was a long time ago."

"I see. I've never seen one."

"Probably neither have I," she said and chuckled a bit.

I can't stress enough how adorable she looked when she tilted her head, closed her eyes, and drew a beautiful, sweet smile on her face, making her seem to light up.

"So, what were you going to ask me?"

"So impatient. How about you tell me something about your life first?"

"Huh?"

"I don't really know much about you. Would you tell me your story?"

"Story? There's not much to tell, you know? But since you asked... I was born about seventeen years ago, more or less. I went to elementary school in the neighborhood... My parents were regional executives at T* Corporation, do you know it? In fact, they met while working there. And I grew up, kept studying... and here I am."

"The T* Corporation? Impressive. So, you're from the upper class? It's strange you don't go to a private school, like rich kids..." I joked, but as I said it, I realized a detail. "Wait, did you say they were executives? Did something happen?"

Kari took a significant moment to respond.

"They died," she said bluntly.

My comments, far from being funny, had completely missed the mark, making me feel like a fool.

"I'm really sorry, truly."

"Don't worry," Kari said, but for the first time, she didn't smile when she said it; her expression remained serious and neutral, neither happy nor sad.

We walked a bit more in the midst of the most uncomfortable silence I could remember. Kari stopped and crossed her arms on the railing that crowned the fence separating us from the river.

"Isn't the sound of the water beautiful? It's as if it's calling us."

Indeed, over the river's surface, gentle waves created a pleasant, soothing natural melody. It didn't feel like anyone was calling me, though.

I adopted the same posture as Kari, but I stayed a short distance from her, unsure if she wanted me to get close to her again. We stood there for a few minutes, without a word, just gazing at the river in the shade and watching the sunset with its changing colors on the opposite shore, above the apartment buildings. I was starting to feel nervous, but Kari remained unfazed, showing no emotions.

"I wasn't always like this, as you see me," she said, looking at me for less than a second. "I don't remember how I used to be before, but for some reason, my schoolmates didn't like me. They even beat me up once. And then my parents died. It was several months after I was beaten up. It was a very tough time for me. So, after what happened to my parents, I couldn't talk for months. I just couldn't. I had become mute... My grandmother took care of me; I'm an only child. Luckily, from my parents' work, we had enough money to get by. I couldn't go to school because of my problem; I couldn't go if I couldn't speak. So, I stayed at home all day with my grandmother. I didn't go out, I had no friends... I spent all day with my grandmother, learning household chores and helping her with everything. Every evening, we would sit down, and she would talk to me for hours about life. That's how I learned many things about the world, about people... And one day, I managed to speak again. I don't really know how it happened, but I'm sure it was thanks to my grandmother. She never tried to make me talk, never forced me, nothing like that. But she told me I had to overcome the difficulties I encountered in life, that there was always a way. It was one of the things she taught me. And, as I'm telling you, one day I started speaking again. And I've always loved my grandmother for that. I feel like I owe her a lot, even my life. Whatever she orders me to do, I will, and if one day my grandmother says my life should end, then I think I would accept it.”

Having recounted that, Kari turned around, leaning her back and two restless palms against the railing, looked at me again, and concluded, catching her breath:

"And that's more or less my story. It's not a fairy tale, but it's my story."

I was stunned after listening carefully to every word. It was hard for me to find something to say, but I disguised it.

I stood in front of Kari and placed my hands on her shoulders.

"I had no idea what you had to go through," I finally said. "It's unfortunate, but it's also admirable how you managed to overcome it."

"Yeah, I guess. I owe it to my grandmother. For her and my parents, I decided to become strong. And, some time later, after returning to school, I became the Kari everyone knows," she said, gradually regaining her lost composure.

"The Kari we all love and... that I like."

Kari smiled—her eyes were bathed in a sweet gleam—and, taking me by the arm, she invited me to walk a bit more.

People were slowly but steadily arriving at the spot, and Kari and I thought it prudent to secure a spot near the riverbank before the best benches were taken. So, we changed our course at a fork in the path, and the landscape changed slightly but significantly: the trees were spaced farther apart and less dense—some of them had begun to shed their leaves—allowing the weak, warm rays of the sun to penetrate them; orange beams, populated with particles and the occasional solitary insect, interrupted the shadows cast by the vegetation. All of this created an intriguing and pleasant play of light—indeed, beautiful—for anyone who paid proper attention.

But Kari didn't seem to observe it with particular interest.

With the sun's retreat, the temperature began to drop, and the night on the river brought more gusts of cold air.

"If I had known I'd be staying out until night, I would have brought a coat," I said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I made you stay outside all day..."

"No, it's okay. I didn't say that because of that. Do you think it's not a perfect day for me?"

Kari smiled and affectionately wrapped her arms around me.

"Now, are you less cold?"

Upon that, I couldn't help but melt inside, like a candle lit with a flamethrower.

Later, Kari took out her phone and snapped a photo of the landscape from the bench. Then she showed me the screen, delighted. Despite the diminishing light of the evening, the photo had its beauty.

"So, are you finally going to ask me what you wanted? I'm dying to know what it is."

The joy disappeared from my face, leaving a serious expression.

"Oh, yes..."

"What's wrong?"

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to ask you something inappropriate."

Sensing perhaps what I was about to ask, Kari lowered her gaze. She no longer looked cheerful.

"Sanke," she said, avoiding eye contact, "if there's something you want to know about me, ask me. We're getting to know each other. Besides, I suppose I owe you an explanation..."

She placed her backpack on her lap and rummaged inside for something. She pulled out an object shaped like a disk.

The medallion, of course.

She looked at it for a few seconds in a grave silence. Contrary to what I had observed all the previous times, the medallion didn't gleam, it didn't reflect any light; instead, it appeared opaque.

"I think it has something to do with this, doesn't it?"

"I just wanted to know what the symbol means, and what's written on the other side."

Something inside me began to churn rapidly.

The happiness of the first date quickly gave way to the nervousness of someone about to delve into a disturbing mystery, as detective-like as it may sound. Opposites—love and fear—converged and swirled within my restless being, attempting to fuse in a difficult-to-achieve but, once it happened, an indissoluble substance, making it impossible to turn back.

Kari brought the medallion closer to me so that I could get a better look.

"It's a bit complicated to explain, and I don't even fully understand it all. My grandmother gave it to me; it comes from her ancestors. What you see here is about energy," she said as she traced the curved lines that formed a kind of disjointed clover, or perhaps numbers eight, with her finger. "My grandmother always talked to me about energy; for her, everything is energy, including us, including this," she continued, holding the medallion at eye level. "Have you seen that, according to the famous equation, energy is equal to mass multiplied by the square of the speed of light? Well, if we look at it the other way around, it also means that we are energy moving very, very slowly. What you see here," she emphasized the energetic curves, "is the universe, the world, but also you and me. My grandmother says we are all the same; only the scale... or appearance changes. And we all exchange energy; they've explained it to us in chemistry class. And these lines," she went on, now touching the oblique cross or X in the middle of the medallion, "would be our 'dimension,' or something like that. It's where we are; what we call 'the present.' Energy goes out from here, but at the same time, it's returning to the same point," she said, tracing the curves with her finger again to illustrate. "What goes out goes into the future; what comes in is the past. It's really hard for me to understand. My grandmother used to say something about one axis being immanence, and the other, transcendence, and that 'What doesn't last forever can still last forever,' but I don't remember it well now... The infinite and the finite."

"Good and evil?" I asked, not comprehending much of what Kari was saying.

"Yes, it could be... Even though some say that neither good nor evil exist."

"How absurd," I opined, sincerely within my heart.

"For you, yes, and I'm not surprised, given your personality."

"Do you believe they don't exist?"

"Not at all, I say they do. You are full of goodness, for example," she said, chuckling lightly without much enthusiasm.

"You're a good person too. Everyone in the class thinks so, and you prove it over and over."

Kari wound the chain around her wrist and paused before speaking, her voice remaining calm and serious throughout, without being particularly impressed by my compliment—practically ignoring it.

"What I mean is that some consider that only 'the facts' exist, and that these are neither good nor bad: they just are. Then there are those who believe that good and evil depend on what each person thinks, and that what is good for one may be bad for another, do you understand?"

"I understand that."

This is how those who lack values or morals and deceive or steal justify themselves.

"But it sounds like something someone who does evil things would say," I concluded.

"You still see it as someone who believes that good and evil exist. For some, what exists is their own interests... and survival."

I thought for a second. I didn't want to argue with Kari, especially not about such a sensitive topic, but I also couldn't remain silent in the face of the assertions she was making. In a way, she seemed to be trying to justify "evil deeds." She continued speaking:

"In any case, everyone has their reasons for doing things or for choosing to do one thing over another. Sometimes it's necessary to do something that may not be 'right' for others. And other times, people don't understand what is 'good.' You do something good, and people don't get it. Many aren't ready to receive what’s 'good.' And when someone doesn't expect something good, that's when it's hardest for them to understand it." She shook her head. "I'm sorry if what I'm saying is complicated."

She lowered her gaze.

"Even so, people resist what’s 'good'," she added. "Didn't you know that?"

Immediately, the scene in the alley behind Kari's house, where that woman couldn't decide to escape with me, came to my mind.

"Still, there are things about which there can be no doubt that they are either good or bad. The woman I saw in the alley that night... If I had left her lying there, abandoned to her fate, I would have had to live with the remorse of not having done anything to help her. I would have been partly responsible for her death."

"You value life too much, Sanke. Didn't it occur to you that maybe she wanted to die? Didn't it cross your mind that perhaps those people you saw desired to die?"

I was shocked by what Kari was saying and the casual way she was discussing such a serious matter.

"What? How can someone really want that? In any case, they should be helped in some way..."

"Sanke, what we wish with our hearts, the things we really want deep within our being, come true, for better or for worse. But just as our desires can come true, so can our worst fears, the ones that beat within us in the depths of our soul, the darkest premonitions, the things we run from because we're not capable of facing them. That's why people who truly wish to die end up dying... although, on the other hand, some people die suddenly with a strong desire to live..."

With a tinge of sadness added to her voice, Kari shared her last words. For a moment, she turned her face towards me, devoid of even the faintest trace of joy, as if it had never existed in the first place. Meanwhile, around us, couples, families, and friends strolled, chatted, laughed, and played, exuding happiness. The first glimmers of colorful lights from the spotlights tinted the edges of the river. I was left speechless, as if I had been struck, deeply dismayed. I truly wanted to ask her right away if she was the girl in the white dress, but the question was superfluous; I felt that she had given me the answer without direct words, yet I couldn't be sure. As for Kari, she slowly got to her feet, as if it were somewhat challenging for her. She took a few steps forward, put the medallion back in her backpack, and sighed timidly. Then, she turned around and faced me.

"This is me, Sanke. If you really wanted to get to know me, if you wanted to be with me so much, here I am. This is how I am. And if I talk to you about such unhappy things and show you this side of me that no one else has ever seen, it's because I know you're so good that you won't judge me, that you won't run away or think anything bad of me, am I wrong? What girl wouldn't want that, to be with someone who doesn't judge her for who she is, for her personality?"

I stood up, overcoming a slight dizziness, and walked towards Kari.

"Yes, I must admit that I like that about you," she added.

She tried to sigh but only managed to exhale loudly. Suddenly, she blushed, her hands and legs were restless, and her lips trembled.

"And now... I'm feeling things I've never felt before. And I..."

A lump in her throat interrupted her, preventing her from continuing. I couldn't resist any longer and held her tightly in my arms, as if she would slip away otherwise. Kari hugged me, burying her face in my chest. I felt faint sobs and irregular breathing. My heart constricted; the mere thought of Kari suffering was truly torturous and impossible to bear for more than a fraction of a second. Gently, delicately, I took her face in my hands and looked at her once more. Kari's eyes were brimming with tears, and her efforts to restrain them were futile. However, when she looked at me, she managed to calm down a bit. I wiped away the tears from her cheeks with my finger, but then Kari took out a handkerchief and wiped her face properly. I helped her with it tenderly. Kari was red with embarrassment and could hardly raise her eyes from the ground.

"Kari," I said then.

"Sorry," she said.

Without saying anything, I put my arm around her and guided her to the bench, inviting her to sit down. As she methodically adjusted her hair and clothes and regained her composure, I wished I had some water to help her calm down. When we sat down again, I left my arm resting on her shoulder, and she rested her head against me. That's how we spent a few minutes without speaking. Brief thoughts about the conversation we had just had accumulated in my mind. We needed some time to let the tension subside and our spirits settle: she needed to recover after revealing herself to me, and I needed to accept the things she had told me.

Perhaps, I thought, it was true that I couldn't understand the reason behind... the whole matter. There probably was logic or an explanation that eluded my understanding for the moment, but I might grasp it in the future if I managed to grasp the ideas behind the issue, if I put myself in Kari's shoes. Surely I would have to delve into those strange considerations about "energy."

After a while, Kari raised her head slightly. She no longer looked sad or distressed. Then she assumed the same posture as before.

"I must apologize, Sanke," Kari said, abruptly interrupting my reflections. Her calm voice easily pierced through the distant chatter of the crowd and the squawking of birds to reach my ears. "For the things I made you hear."

Only then did I realize that perhaps Kari had needed to talk to someone about those mysterious ideas.

"Maybe you shouldn't be here, with me..." she said, and a hint of bitterness crept into her voice. Without giving me a chance to try to make her feel better, she continued, "It's not easy being me..."

She paused briefly.

"And now, if you want to go home..."

I shook my head.

"It's okay, Kari."

Kari then reclined on the bench and gazed upwards at the treetops above us. A gentle breeze swayed them, much like her hair, which, however, remained perfectly coiffed and unruffled. The sight was enchanting.

I was no longer going to ask her if she was the girl from the alley, nor was I going to inquire about the man and the woman I had seen there, or if they knew anything about an elderly man who had recently fallen into depression and lived with a school-age granddaughter. For a part of me, it was as if there was no longer a need to know; curiously, I had come so close to the depths of Kari, where the answers to my questions undoubtedly resided, and there I had stopped, perhaps unintentionally.

And maybe I already knew. Maybe Kari had confessed it, not with words, but with the way she pronounced them and with the tense, strained movements of her face, and then maybe she had asked for understanding and compassion; she had asked not to be judged.

And in that, she was absolutely right. I was incapable of judging her, and while the events I had witnessed in the alley behind her house and in the vicinity were undeniably macabre and aberrant... how should I put it? I didn't feel that she was involved out of sheer malice.

Perhaps it was also impossible for me to accept that Kari and the girl in the white dress were the same person, despite there being evidence to think so.

Moreover, and not at all irrelevant, she had told me something.

"That's what I like about you."

Emphasis on "what I like."

I smiled silently, my chest filled with a sensation very much akin to relief, but without exaltation, and yes, instead, gently, embracing her subtle confession.

Yes, there were no more doubts. I could now be at ease knowing that Kari truly felt something for me, or at the very least, something about me appealed to her.

Outside, beyond my restless mind, a few more minutes passed, and our spirits improved.

I moved away from her warmth for a moment and looked at her directly, wondering why I liked her so much.

So much that I hadn't run away terrified to the ends of the earth.

No, I chose to stay by her side, on the old wooden bench.

I didn't know how, but there we were, Kari and I, looking at each other and smiling, without having to say anything, just living a moment that seemed frozen in time.

I insist it felt like a dream, but it was better than that; it was a dream come true.

A dream in which I hadn't believed, as I had often seen the cheerful girl as so distant. For a long time, I had thought her unreachable, but there she was now, beside me, and so reachable that I could literally grasp her.

And that's what I did.

I slid a somewhat innocent hand onto her forearm, and our arms blindly intertwined, our palms wide open met in the night.

I was no longer cold.

"We should probably head back, don't you think?"

I didn't want to. I wanted to enjoy as much time as possible with Kari. After all, I had wished for it so much...

"I suppose so. What time is it?"

"It's quite late. The day has flown by," she replied, gently releasing her arm and slowly moving away from my side, without haste.

We began to retrace our steps along the path that bordered the river; the surface of the water reflected the orange glow of the lanterns illuminating the promenade. Kari was unusually pensive, and I didn't know what to talk about.

Almost at the same time, we noticed a mass of dark clouds had appeared above the distant buildings, threatening to move in our direction.

"It looks like it's going to rain," Kari observed.

"It might," was all I said. "The rainy season is about to start."

We strolled slowly, continuing to admire the river as we walked, although we knew it might be best to be at our respective homes.

"Oh, what a beautiful place," Kari sighed, taking a moment to look around. "I don't know why I didn't come here more often. I really like it."

She resumed walking without delay, and I followed suit.

"I thought you were going to say that you liked me," I said.

"Do you really want to hear that, don’t you?" she asked.

"I would like to. It's not something that happens to me every day."

"I see," she replied with nonchalant indifference.

"Do you remember when my friends dragged me over to you and told you I was yours? You didn't say anything then either."

"Oh, yes! Haha! I remember. Poor thing, I really felt sorry for you that day. Your friends went too far."

"Did you know I liked you back then?"

"No, I didn't believe it or even suspect it."

After a while of walking, as we reached a street corner, Kari stopped in her tracks. I followed suit.

"This street," she said, pointing with a gesture of her hand at the road now behind her, "leads straight to my house."

I nodded without much enthusiasm, suddenly having to face the inevitable end of our date.

Kari didn't seem particularly happy about it either.

"Are you walking? I can go with you," I offered.

"Hmm... no," Kari murmured, as she turned her gaze to the street in question. She remained with her eyes fixed on some point in the narrow, empty street, which I couldn't quite understand.

"I should have been home a while ago. My grandmother is waiting for me, and I didn't tell her I'd be out all afternoon, especially not with a boy. I don't know what she would do if she found out..." she explained, visibly concerned.

"It's okay, Kari. If you'd rather go alone, go ahead."

"Yes," she said, nodding. "So, thank you, Sanke, for accompanying me today."

"Thank you for inviting me," I managed to say.

"I wasn't sure about inviting you," she continued, tilting her head slightly to hide her eyes from me, "because, well, I don't want to be selfish and think only about myself."

"What are you saying? None of that."

"Yes, I have to apologize to you. For making you feel bad. And if I ever hurt you... please forgive me."

"Kari, it's okay. If you're talking about your story, well, yes, it shocked me, but you know what? You decided to tell me very private things about yourself so that I could get to know you better. That makes me feel important, special."

"It's because you are special. Don't forget that. And now, go home, okay?"

"Yes, Kari."

"I really mean it," she warned me. "It's better for you to go home. It's getting late."

"Where else could I go?"

She smiled and threw herself into my arms. For a few moments, she didn't say anything; she just hugged me tightly and silently. Then she pulled away from me.

"Goodbye, Sanke," she said with a sweet smile.

"Yes, see you," I replied.

I took her hands and held them tenderly.

"I love you, Kari."

Kari fell silent for a moment, smiled faintly once more, and lowered her gaze.

"I love you too, Sanke," she whispered.

And she planted a kiss on my cheek.

She quickly moved away from my side; after taking a few light steps forward, like a dancer, Kari turned around and shot me a wide-eyed look, a broad smile on her face, and one arm raised.

"Take care!" she exclaimed, and hurried away.

Her silhouette quickly blurred and merged into the shadows of the darkened street. I thought I could hear the distant song again:

"The sun is shining every day,

The stars are winking every night…"

I stood still for a minute or two, unable to decide whether to wait for something to happen or whether it was just the indecision between following Kari or obeying her and heading back home. In the end, I did the latter.

It wasn't what I would have liked to do.

Return to index

Chapter 12

My parents were relieved to see me come through the door. They had waited for me to have dinner, but at some point, they got tired and had started without me. However, they had barely taken a bite, and the food was still on their plates, getting cold.

I sensed they wanted to scold me, but I was too happy for it to have any effect on me.

"Yeah, I know, I forgot to let you know I'd be out. Sorry."

They were also very happy to see me safe and sound to be stern with me.

I quickly ate some rice and went to my room.

Joy made me jump and land horizontally on the mattress, just like high jump athletes do. It was hard to believe what was happening to me. Overnight, my life had changed radically; I had left the house as an ordinary young man and returned with a date with the best girl in school and in town on my record. It was a dream come true... partially, because I couldn't help but hope that Kari might become my girlfriend. And if that happened in the future, I couldn't wait for everyone at school to find out, or to invite her to dinner so my parents could meet her. My friends would be greatly surprised at how I had managed to win over the cheerful girl, the virtuous Student Council president. And what about Aira, Hana, and Ruri? I couldn't even imagine the looks on their faces when they saw me walking hand in hand with Kari in the school hallways. It would be a shock for the class, even for the whole school. They would respect me more, I would become more popular, I would meet more people. It would be an opportunity to capitalize on the momentum and climb the social pyramid of the school. But that required some time; for now, all I wanted was to enjoy the moment, basking in the delightful certainty that there was something between Kari and me.

After rolling around in those happy thoughts and others, I turned off the light. It was better to rest so I could get to class early the next day and try to spend some time with Kari there as well.

I picked up my cellphone from the nightstand. There were half a dozen missed calls from my parents. If they hadn't called more, it was because they trusted that everything was fine. Besides that, I had messages from Kazu and Emell, probably asking where I was or if I had time to play with them. I didn't read them because the last message I received was from Kari. Without delay, I opened it and eagerly read its content.

"Good night, sleep well. I love you!" it said.

Intoxicated with happiness, I replied to the message immediately; once I did, I dropped the phone to the side. I crossed my arms behind my head and spent a long time thinking about Kari, remembering the day we had had. It had been a couple of days filled with all kinds of emotions, and as I lay down, fatigue quickly overtook my body. I closed my eyes to see more clearly the images passing before me, which were soon invaded by ambiguous thoughts, by ideas that didn't present themselves clearly. And when I managed to condense those vague ideas into thoughts I could grasp, sleep overcame me.

I woke up suddenly to the new day. As I opened my eyes, I already felt that the morning had started a long time ago, and I wasn't wrong. In fact, I was absolutely right. The sun had already risen, and its golden rays filled the room. I was restless. I had a terrible feeling, like the one you get when you wake up after a nightmare, but in my case, I couldn't determine the source of that feeling.

I thought about Kari. Had she waited for me by the door, or had she expected to see me at school?

I searched for my phone nervously, impatiently rummaging through the sheets.

A dark thought began to creep over me like a storm cloud on a sunny day.

I found the darn phone, and there was no message from Kari. For a second, I wanted to believe that she hadn't had time to reply, but I found it almost impossible to convince myself of such a thing.

I fell back on the bed for a moment because my head felt heavy. I remembered that I had been dreaming about something just before waking up but couldn't bring those memories back to my mind. It must have been related to Kari. I hadn't been thinking about anything else for the past two or three days. And, in contrast to the previous night, I didn't feel euphoria, I wasn't ecstatic, and the sweet taste of young love had disappeared from my mouth. Then I realized that beyond the feelings Kari and I had professed for each other, there were unsettling things about her personal history. At the time, I hadn't considered them properly, given my strong emotions, but getting involved with her could be dangerous. Only three nights ago, I had had a horrifying incident in the alley, where I could have died. The date from the previous day, whose memories had already drained out of me, had known how to hide it, making it seem distant, or not so serious.

And yet, despite what she had told me and the murkiness of certain details of her life, I didn't care.

I insist that Kari was right; I couldn't judge her, no matter how she turned out to be a cruel and ruthless murderer. Because that's what she might be, and I, blinded by her beauty, her sincerity, and perhaps acting on a hero complex, ignored it. Or deep down, I believed I could do something about it, like convincing Kari to abandon that enigmatic half-life she led, or helping her leave madness behind.

Would I have been so captivated if we hadn't locked eyes two years earlier? Would I have liked her so much?

I stood up. I had been lying down for too long. I wanted to talk to Kari, but now that I had a clearer head and could think better, something inside me held me back.

It was... a kind of fear, so to speak.

Right then, what I had started to think about the night before, before falling asleep, came to mind.

The large woman I had seen in the alley, the one who had attacked Kari and whom I had saved her from, was she her grandmother?

A horrible presentiment suddenly captured me, hitting me like a punch in the stomach. I rushed out of the room. I didn't even take the house keys with me, although I did have the presence of mind to grab my cellphone before rushing to the exit.

I ran and ran, feeling like an idiot, wondering why I had fallen asleep, why I hadn't been able to wake up early, but above all, why I had been so stupid not to accompany Kari home the night before. I ran wildly, recklessly, almost without noticing the people or vehicles—when you pay attention, you realize how slow they can actually be. Adrenaline and fear flowed through my veins, giving me speed and strength to keep going and not stop until my life was in danger. The memory of Kari crying as she revealed the darkest secrets of her heart tormented me. The words she had told me echoed in my head, driving me insane. And as I ran, I kept calling Kari insistently, but it was no use; the only response I got was, "The number you are trying to call is not in service."

I headed down the nameless street toward the big house that faced the alley. With each fast step, I felt more terror, the pressure in my chest increased, and taking the next step became more difficult. There were no pedestrians or signs of human activity in the neighborhood, which only reinforced the foreboding I had been carrying from my house.

By the time I arrived, I was already exhausted. At the last corner before the alley of terror, I stopped to catch my breath and made a vain attempt to locate Kari or her grandmother, giving the situation one last chance to show me that everything was fine. But I received no signal. I had to check for myself, see it with my own eyes.

I circled the block, poorly pretending to be an innocent pedestrian. All the houses on the block were silent, their doors closed, and through the windows, there was no sign of life. Apparently, all the residents of the neighborhood had left early in the morning.

Then, impulsively, I retraced my steps and entered the alley. During the day, it didn't look terrifying or sinister at all; it didn't resemble the old houses or the abandoned factories where disturbing and sinister things were said to happen. But I quickly found traces of blood on the ground; the dried, pinkish stains made me feel extremely dizzy. I lost my balance to the point that I had to lean against a wall. Horrible scenes from a too-recent past returned to haunt me. However, I never stopped moving forward, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the back door of Kari's house.

The door was slightly ajar.

I don't know why, but to me, that didn't look good at all.

Desperate, I energetically entered the house. On the right, there was the kitchen, spacious and bright, clean, tidy, just like the ones on TV, but also perfectly empty and silent. I went through it without paying much attention, though starting to be more careful. I was already inside, so I had a better chance of finding Kari or her grandmother. If one of them caught me in her house, it wouldn't end well. On the other side of the kitchen, at one end, there was a door leading to the adjacent room. I went there.

I entered the living room, which was even larger than the kitchen. It seemed like two merged rooms: on one side, there was a large table and several chairs, typical of a dining room; on the other side, there was a piece of furniture against each wall, as well as a TV and a set of armchairs. A large window at the back overlooked the small front garden. I saw all kinds of decorations on the furniture and several photographs of Kari at different stages of her childhood. A feeling of warmth overwhelmed me, mingling with the panic I had been experiencing.

Upon exiting the enormous room through its other opening, I found myself in a corridor leading to the rest of the house. I barely glanced at the first door I saw; it was the laundry room, and it was empty. At the end of the corridor, near the back door, I saw the staircase leading to the first floor again. The other staircase was next to the living room exit. I decided to go up this latter one, as it was the closest.

I rushed up the stairs, not wasting time on each step. The first door I saw on the upper floor was open. From the outside, it looked like a bedroom, with at least one bed and a dresser. I headed straight there, but before entering, I noticed bloodstains on the carpet, right where I was stepping.

The trail continued into the room.

The bedroom was beautiful, and judging by the pink walls and stuffed animals, it seemed to be designed for a young girl. The furnishings included a bed with a nightstand, a wardrobe, a dresser, and a desk with a computer. A large window overlooked the street.

The bed was unmade, books and various objects from the desk were scattered on the floor, thrown from their places, and the floor, sheets, and wardrobe doors were splattered with blood.

A nauseating odor contaminated the scent of flowers with a hint of fruit, giving rise to the faint, repulsive stench that now filled the room.

I felt my stomach turn violently, and I suffered very strong nausea.

I fell to my knees. Tears streamed from my eyes.

And in the midst of that sea of despair, I felt myself sinking.

"Goodbye, Sanke," she had said, with a sweet smile.

I stayed on the floor for a while, lamenting, wanting to die right there. But I must not have wanted it enough. When I gathered a minimum of energy and willpower, I crawled around the bed, avoiding the fallen objects. Next to it, I found Kari's backpack, with its contents half-spilled. I wasted no time reaching out and rummaging through its contents. Notebooks and other papers came out first; her purse was open, and I took out various items—some bills, a bracelet, hair accessories, a bunch of keys, etc. Under the bed, I spotted the little notebook, open with one of its pages torn. I reached for it frantically, stretching my arm as far as I could—under normal circumstances, it would have hurt me—but I brought it closer. I frantically searched for the photos from our date, the ones Kari had carefully kept there to protect them. I found only the paperclip in its place, hooked onto one of the pages. Nothing else remained.

I sat down next to the bed, not wanting or able to move, for a few more minutes. Eventually, I grew tired of breathing the cursed and unhealthy air of the room and dragged my feet out of there.

I silently went through the rest of the upper floor, and when I was done, I went down to the living room, where Kari's photographs were. I chose one that looked rather recent and pressed it against my chest. I wanted to take the photograph with me to have a physical memento of Kari's eternal smile, but a part of me tried to dissuade me from doing so, telling me I shouldn't steal from someone I loved so much.

I went up to the first floor and gave one last look at Kari's room from the doorway, not daring to enter again.

Had I done so, I might have genuinely died, or that's what I felt at the time.

I left the house and walked the streets crying, with a sense of emptiness larger than the entire city and Kari's house; a black hole was what I had inside my chest, devouring everything in me, the good, the bad, my emotions, my feelings, my soul, my history, my thoughts...

I walked half-dead, unable to look up, only at my feet. Some people asked if I was okay, but I paid no attention.

I reached my house, but I was no longer myself.

All I did was go to my room and collapse on the bed, crying myself to sleep. I didn't get up until well into the night.

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Epilogue

The loss of Kari left a very deep mark on me, a scar that time did not easily heal. Inside me, I felt that something broke, something very valuable and pure, very pristine, but to which I cannot give a name. Even today, after the years that have passed, I find it difficult to explain.

Something broke, and I was never the same again.

In school, Kari's disappearance also had a very negative impact. The class quickly lost its zest for life, with no one to constantly keep our spirits up. Kari's friends spent the rest of the year in sadness. No one knew what had happened to Kari, and I didn't want to talk, partly to not reveal—to protect, in a way—the unknown side she had—anyway, they probably wouldn't have believed me—and partly because I didn't really know exactly what had happened to her.

Aira, as the vice-president, had to take over as the head of the Council. Her first measure was to ask us not to refer to her as "President" because Kari was still the president. So we continued to call her "Vice President." In place of Aira, the school chose a new vice president of the Council, whose de facto title became "Assistant to the Vice President."

There were never any more news about Kari. The police were called in to investigate, but they soon gave up, using the excuse that there were not enough leads to continue the investigation.

Then, at the end of the school year, we all graduated, and each of us went our separate ways.

And I continued to live as best I could. I could never return to Kari's house, or even approach it for a long time. I even left the city. And here I am now.

Kari and I went out for only one day—or less than that—but I still remember her fondly. After all this time, I still remember her.

As if I could forget her. As if you could forget a story so incredible, so sweet and bitter at the same time, so generous and also so ruthless.

Yes, I still remember her.

In my memory, she is still "the cheerful girl."

My cheerful girl.

Happiness is never complete, and, to make matters worse, it lasts very briefly. And one searches for it, tries to find it or attract it again, and one cannot or is not allowed to experience it again unless it is sporadic. And so, in seeking it, one's life slips away.

But here I am.

And now that I've told you my story, I allow myself to retire to rest. It is already dawn, and I stayed up late to tell you this story, and in the morning, I must get up early for an important matter.

So, goodnight.

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Visiones de una ciudad más allá

Cheerful Girl

Index

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Epilogue